A few years back I left a toxic relationship. He was abusive in ever way. I some time have night mares they use to be a daily thing but now there not so often. Their usually the same dream to. And the dream is always the day he attacked me when I was pregnant. He shouted in my ear that I was crazy and need to be locked up. That I'm to crazy to be a mum and that's why my baby is leaving (I was having threatened miscarriages). I still hear his voice and his feel his fist. I had the dream again last night. I was with my boyfriend and he woke me when he went to cuddle me. He scared me and I apparently pushed him off me and aggressively. I feel awful. I hate my self for it. He said I was crazy for doing it the way I did. We talked about it tonight. And I said how it hurt that he said I was crazy. His reply was fuckn oath you are. I'm shattered. My ex told me every day I was crazy and I now am. I try and not let my ex be the winner but he always has this power over me. I've been with my bf for a long time my daughter thinks his her dad. I don't know what to do. Am I crazy? How do I stop dreaming about it all. He doesn't even care that I was having another night mare. He didn't even ask me what it was about to we started yelling. And it wasn't as of he was asking cause he cared either. Will it ever go away cause i don't want to lose him cauae I'm crazy.
8 Replies
It's time to get yourself in to see a psychologist. Not because I think you are crazy but because you deserve some help to get through the damage caused by your ex.
I think he meant you were crazy in your movements, not yourself. You do need to get professional help to deal with this trauma.
You are NOT crazy. You have been through something deeply traumatic, you need some professional help to help heal those emotional wounds.
Your boyfriend needs to be more understanding too...
Hey lovely one! PSTD suffer here and what youre describing sounds like that. Get some help, a good psychologist one who practices EMDR therapy would be excellent. As for him, if he is more concerned about his own feelings than yours in this situation, and hasn't even asked what's wrong, he may just be a stepping stone to someone more supportive. BIG HUGS xxx
You need to see a psychologist of dv counsellor. I had an awful ex who was abusive too. He would tell me I was too mental to be a mum and told me as soon as my baby was born he was having him taken off me and admitting me to a psychiatric hospital. I was terrified. Its taken a long time to recover from the abuse and I still have triggers. Being called crazy is obviously a trigger for you. Counselling has helped me. Please get yourself in to see someone xxx
Get some help to deal with the past trauma. Your body is telling you (by way of the nightmares) that all is not well and healed.
Just as we go to the doctor for our physical health i.e. a broken bone, we also need to see a doctor for our mental health. You are not 'crazy' and in my experience, the people who call others 'crazy' are generally themselves unstable...
This current bf doesn't sound much better than the last. You might be best spending time on your own healing journey for awhile so you don't continue to settle for anything less than the most loving supportive respectful man, who knows how treats you right
Have you ever actually been single? Like after the first relationship? If you don't process your feelings and become whole again, you bring a lot of baggage to the next relationship amd it can cause a lot of issues and you can be vulnerable to another abusive relationship. Remember your partner now is not a therapist and it can be taxing on someone when their significant other has serious mental health issues and can put a strain on the relationship. I think you need to see someone and process all of this, a professional who can help you, you have to really deal with this, face it head on. You may need some time being single and getting yourself right, or your partner may support you through it, but you really need to do something about this. I'm pretty sure you have written in here before, talking about how wonderful your new partner is, so maybe he is being pushed to his limits with this. Good luck to you.
Please get professional help. Not because you're crazy, but because you're so amazing and you can't see your own worth!!
Sounds like you may have a bit of PTSD from your past relationship and need some help to deal with it.
I wish you all the best hun!! Xx