I want too overcome my addiction. Its something I've been doing for 10 years, last 4 years however on a daily - every couple of days basis. I am what you call a high functioning addict, flying under the radar & living a seemingly normal life, doing what I'm supposed too & not out causing havoc/stealing/abandoning my family/not eating sleeping/spiraling out of control (what's expected or considered normal for a drug addict). I have a partner (who knows everything, also does what I do but on a much smaller scale & has for much longer than I.) We have 3 beautiful children (twins 3.5 & baby 1.5). Obviously my priority & #1 reason for quitting is them. As much as I love them, am doing the best I can, they deserve more. Never have I not been their too put them too bed, greet them in the morning & make breakfast, play & spend time with them, bath or look after them when their sick etc. Every Birthday/Christmas is a big deal, & are overly spoiled due too my guilt. I say all this not too justify my wrong doing, but purely explain MY situation. I might be a loving mum, but I'm unorganised, finding it hard too keep it together & socially awkward. I am wasting an embarrassing amount of money, & although my kids NEVER go without & get what they want/need - I am saving very little (some weeks nothing). I want too be clean & healthy by the time my kids are starting schooling years (including kinder). My mum was absolutely amazing, and my kids deserve the same. I've never been violent, but yell more than I'd like & on my non using days find it harder too function. I'm sorry for this being so long, it just feels nice too get it out & know I may get some helpful advice/feedback. I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else overcome addiction or someone close too you? In a situation where you had children & also needed too overhaul your life - not just give up your substance. Even anyone who's overhauled their whole life. Do you tackle everything at once, one thing at a time? Where do you start how do you keep going? I am so scared. I really don't want too go too a detox centre, I'm hoping too do it at home. This will require my partner too take a week off work, as my body will need a few days solid rest/sleep. I feel guilty even saying that, but it's better for my kids too have mum rest a few days then slowly keep running herself into the ground. After that I will hopefully start regularly seeing a drug councilor or similar, need too research this further. Small steps. I'm not naive & know things won't be easy, i won't magically be better after a week or two. But I need too start somewhere with what I hope will work for me & suit my family. I'm VERY close too my parents & inlaws, but not wanting too tell them as yet. Maybe once I am on the road too recovery I will think/feel differently. But for now I can't face the hurt & trouble it could cause. Again I am sorry for the long post but any words of encouragement/opinions/advice is welcome & wanted ❤️
7 Replies
Look, I've never been in your situation but is there anychance you can start seeing a drug councillor now as apposed to later? They may be able to guide you and give you advice on the right steps to take and maybe put you in touch with the right people. Good luck with everything x
I've been he support person of an addict.
Personally I'd start by checking in with your GP. Be totally honest about what it is you use. Yes detox might be necessary but there might be other options depending on you. Your GP can refer you to a psychologist who specialises in addiction and help you come up with a plan for you.
That might mean a gradual weaning off, that might be a detox etc.
Nobody wants to go to detox, it isn't fun and can be confronting/boring and all things combined. But it's a short period of your life compared to having the rest of your life clean and healthy.
You have the desire to stop and overhaul your life. That right there is the first step.
I think it would be for the best if you encourage your partner to give up as well, trying to abstain while he's still using will be a huge challenge and a temptation you don't really need.
Next, see your doctor. Be totally honest and consider all your options, I know you say you don't want to go to a detox centre but it may be what you need. Look up narcotics anonymous programs in your area, look into some counselling (your Dr should be able to assist you with that ) and surround yourself with supportive people.
I wish you the best of luck, you have a long road ahead but you can do it!
My advice is to do it away from the kids to start with. My best friend was an addict and I had to keep that from my son, when she did decide to get clean I was so thankful she didn't have kids of her own to have to see that. Although your partner is on a much smaller scale is he also getting clean? Do you think you can succeed if he doesn't? I wish you the best, my friend has been clean now for over 10 years but she's had to remove every single using person from her life to do it.
I have seen a very close family member give up substance abuse and while I was still pretty young at the time, I think it was a gradual thing. Cold turkey probably isn’t a good way to go because of withdrawals around your kids. Can you just start significantly cutting down every two weeks or so, so that it’s gradual? That will take a lot of willpower, but it sounds like you really really want this.
Tbh, it sounds like your head is in the right place. And you already have a good idea of what’s going to work and how it will work for you. Just trust yourself because once you assert yourself and put your mind to giving up, you’ll do it because you’re already half way there. You’ve got this girl. I believe in you.
Before i met my husband, he was an addict and gave up cold turkey (he was a single guy so not around kids). I would make an appointment to see your g.p to get some referrals to the appropiate councillors. I know that might seem like thats a hard step but you have already taken the hardest step in admitting you have a problem. I wish you all the luck in the world and know you can overcome this.
I was an addict to drugs and alcohol
I'm 3 yrs sober
Due to alot of hard work but well worth it
Attending many appointments
And having an extremely supportive partner
I'm lucky enough to have a fantastic mental health and substance abuse in patient facility close by
I stayed in there for one month so very much like a rehab
The turning point for me was
Admitting that I had a huge problem
If nothing was to change I'd be locked up or dead
Simple as that
Support is key
Seems. Like u have gave this plenty of thought
Good on you