Hey Lovely IM's
I'm just after some others thoughts. I've chosen a school for my daughter because we have current dv order etc and they had the best response to what they would do if her dad did rock up. It's a wonderful school. However my daughter is expressing her wishes to attend a different school because this other school is where 99% of the kids from Kindy will attend. Both schools are a private school but the school she's begging me to let her attend didn't quiet have a response I was after. My aim has always been to keep her safe and thats what I've tried to do with school. However I don't want her to hate school and feel crap because not one child from Kindy is going to the school I've chosen for her. Tonight she again begged "please mummy can I go to x school". I said it's ok your going to go to c school" she said "but mummy I really want to go to x school with all my friends"
My hearts breaking for her because she seems so addimant she wants to attend school x. But on the other hand I want to make sure she is safe. C school is an amazing school and their response and procedure to what would happen if he turned up is what made my mind up. I just feel like she has all rights to her choice but also feel like she'll be less safe at school x.
What would you lovely ladies do? I'm feeling a little bit lost 😢
Please note this isn't a post about keeping her away from Dad as the reasons are real and other organisations have fears for our safety. So please don't comment in regards to equal rights because that's not what my post is about.
School and daughters wishes
School and daughters wishes
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
10 Replies
Personally I think you are doing the right thing because her safety is paramount. Maybe you can make a compromise and say “I really really want you to go to this school because it looks perfect for you. How about you start there for x amount of time (maybe the first term you could say) and see how you like it. If not we can change.” And hopefully that’s enough time for her to warm, make amazing friends and change her mind.
I’m not sure how else you could do it other then letting her pick, and putting in place very strict rules that the schools needs to follow if her Dad was to rock up. And/or get the organisations you are through to also have a word to the school about her saftey.
Go and spend time looking at her school. Its very hard to know so give it some extra time seeing as her friends are going there and she would be happy to.
however, end of day, you make the grown up choice. She will make friends as they all do.
Sorry, 6 year olds aren't mature enough to make this decision. It's your job to keep her safe and choose the school
Go with what school YOU feel is best. Chances are she probably won't stick with her kindy friends anyway.
ALL schools have a duty of care in these situations, there are procedures that are meant to be adhered to in order to keep their students safe. That said, if you feel this school is a bit lax in that department I think you should go with the other one. Safety is paramount, she'll make new friends and I'm sure play dates could be arranged with her old friends.
My kids didn't get a say in which primary school they went to, mainly because I feel 4/5 year olds don't have the capacity to make an informed choice - at that age we make these choices for them with all their best interests considered. If she were heading into high school, I would let her be involved in making this decision.
Your situation is about needs vs wants really though.
She NEEDS to be safe - she WANTS to be with her friends, I think that really makes the choice for you!
I just moved my kids school in the last term of the year. My daughter is in Kindy and has made News friends almost imediately. It's been amazing. Go with the school you want. I'm sure your daughter will make new friends when she starts there. Keep her safe and just keep reassuring her that change is a good thing.
Your job is to keep her safe. That’s what you are doing with the choice you are making. I thought you were talking about a high school age child initially. At kindy age your daughter has no idea or understanding of the reasons for your choices. At her age she will have a whole new bunch of friends after a week. If she has close friends from kindy you could always organize to meet up with them outside of school.
I would make a decision around safety number one and then also whether you think is a good school for her. Friends concerns will last 6 minutes compared to the 6 years you will be there. It really matters more about the school than current friendship group. Make play dates for holidays and weekends with friends, emphasise how many friends she will have (you add the new ones to the old ones!), how many people meet good friends for the first time at school, help to nurture friendships in the first few weeks. She should be fine if she already has lots of friends, she'd good at making friends. Stay positive and strong and sick to important values.
Are they running a few transition days? She will meet and make new friends then.
Suggest that she try it for a year, so she feels she has some choice but you go with your gut Mumma xx
I'd tell school X what school C said they would do in case this happened and ask them if they would be happy to do the same for your peace of mind and for the safety of your child.