How can I protect my 7yo without him getting punished by his father? His father and I split before our son was 2 as he was abusive. When he was 3 and 4 he came home telling us "daddy hurts (girlfriends name)" and "daddy has smelly green stuff". Our lawyer warned us against making accusations about abuse/drugs without substantial evidence. As once it reaches court without that evidence I just look like the vindictive ex that wants to punish him. He is now 7 and a half, and has told me once or twice in passing dad hurts the girlfriend, dad scared me because he hurt the girlfriend, dad smokes smelly green stuff. But then won't say any more than that. I have never told him what actually happened between me and his father just that dad hurt mum and that's why we don't live together any more. He's accepted that, but asks questions about domestic violence when he sees a story on the news about it, I have told him as much as I can without being detailed, but he is also becoming more open about his dad hitting his girlfriend at their house, how can I report this to keep him safe, without him getting hurt by his father because he told me? He told me today that dad started yelling at a group of kids that were swearing heaps on the bus but they were only around 10, and that his yelling at those kids he got really angry at them, which scared our son. And that dad still hurts his girlfriend, and that scares him when he is at dad's house. I want to report it, but I don't want our son getting hurt because I reported it, and I can't withhold access without making it clear I reported it and causing trouble for our son, and me and my family.
6 Replies
Report it!! If you're not sure, go to a GP, go to psych and let him tell them. THEN get their opinion but take action to stop sending your child into a DV household, poor little kid.
Report it as a neighbour and stay ananymous
I really feel for you.. all we want to do as mothers is protect our cubs. I recently reported to police my children’s father for putting his hands around my sons neck and choking him (in my sons words - he’s nearly 9), police took out an interim avo protecting him, it went to local court and the judge verbally attacked me, saying I coached my son to say it, it’s a matter for the family law court. My ex outright lied on the stand about it, as he is arrogant and very much an authoritarian (and obviously believable). I now have to send my son back to him without any protection. He is petrified and worried he is now going to be punished even more for reporting it and because of the comments of the judge, I can’t even do anything through family court. I now understand why victims of domestic violence do not come forward, the way they are treated is deplorable..
That fucking stinks! Why are women and children not believed FFS!?!?!
I really feel for you.. all we want to do as mothers is protect our cubs. I recently reported to police my children’s father for putting his hands around my sons neck and choking him (in my sons words - he’s nearly 9), police took out an interim avo protecting him, it went to local court and the judge verbally attacked me, saying I coached my son to say it, it’s a matter for the family law court. My ex outright lied on the stand about it, as he is arrogant and very much an authoritarian (and obviously believable). I now have to send my son back to him without any protection. He is petrified and worried he is now going to be punished even more for reporting it and because of the comments of the judge, I can’t even do anything through family court. I now understand why victims of domestic violence do not come forward, the way they are treated is deplorable..
Ask the school counselor if he can have a few sessions. If he opens up to him/her then they have to report