Really just needing a vent...so my sil and her 4 girls are staying with us. We have gone from quiet clean little family of 4 to over run hectic mess of 9 people I can t deal with it anymore I'm going insane .... Her 4 year old is destroying my house and my 2 year old is constantly in the blame for what she is doing caught Red handed or not it had to be my boys fault...well because his a boy...there is 2 hole years difference between these kids so she clearly understands that drawing on walls smashing my stuff tipping nail Polish on floors ect is naughty but my kids the only one to get in trouble for anything ... Dinner don't start me on dinner it dosent matter what I cook there's an argument I understand they are 9 7 5 and 4 it's hard to feed kids I get it I have a 5 and a 2 but when my kids are on the rules eat it or starve and then her kids are getting Rice milk and sugar anda movie because they didn't want what I cooked while mine are getting sent to bed if they argue it's just not fair I might be a bit hard but this women is a lazy parent it's a shut the fuck up and do what you want just leave me alone situation its my house my rules... but in this case it's my house and aunt just in a bad mood dw girls let's go sit in our room away from her and ill tell you all she's the devil instead of pulling youre a hole heads in line . I'm getting $200 a week to feed bath and transport and extra 5 people I have to do and extra 4 trips a day across town for HER kids I shout her smokes all week and drinks on the weekend not to mention the fans tv and DVD player that in on 24/7 in her room and all she flipping does is yell and scream and carry on because she's going through a hard time all because she left her bf of 12 yrs.. she's already got another man, she dosent know what a hard time is a hard time is having 5 ungrateful brats in youre home who your having to put youre own money in to support each dam week without shit while watching her buy herself New clothes and get tattoos each week cause she's Rolling now she dosent have bills and her brother my partner whinging in my ear because his sick of his sister being here taking advantage of us...like are you kidding me mate ....who else...'loves' the in-laws..Just not living with you
8 Replies
If you both aren't happy with them there why not kick them out? You are not responsible for taking care of other people....
It’s time to kick her out. This is not working for you and it’s only enabling her.
It may seem harsh or tough love but she’s got to go.
Is there a reason you can't just ask them to leave?
In answer to the comments we can't kick her out because we can't take being the bad guys and I already feel bad for taking money off her which is retarded because I'm 100% going backwards .
I feel like no matter what I do for anyone it's never good enough or at least I feel like its not good enough
Sweetheart, you can and should kick her out. She is taking wild advantage of your generosity! She's an adult, you're not actually doing her any favours at the moment, asking her to get her shit together is not 'being the bad guys' it's actually teaching her to stand on her own 2 feet. Much more beneficial to everyone in the long term.
I'm not saying you should dump her on her arse tomorrow morning but you do need to put your family first.
Give her a time limit, say 6-8 weeks. Help her apply for houses of her own, arrange a meeting with public housing but make it clear this situation cannot continue long term.
I had my mother in law and her 5 kids live with me for the better part of 2 years, crammed into our spare room. It was meant to be a week.
Honestly, the longer you let her stay, the more fool you are, I know from experience.
You need to “woman up” here and do what is right for YOUR family because this environment can not be good for your children or your relationship. It’s time to be a little more selfish and start putting the needs of your family above the needs of extended family. You’ve done your bit, you’ve helped out, but now it’s time for to manage in her own two feet. Give her till the end of January (shorter if you want but no longer) and honestly, no matter what you do it will never be enough for her. This is not on you. This is because she is going to take and take and bleed you dry. It is ok to have boundaries. It is ok to say enough is enough. You are not the bad guys, but you cannot keep in this path.
It might be your house but she's there mum and can be in charge of what they eat. You are clearly at your wits end because you sound judgemental and mean. So take a breath and have a calm conversation about how you can coexist or explain it's not working before you end up exploding, calling her a shit mum and ruining your relationship for ever.
Ah nope tell her its not working youre struggling and shes doing well now so its time to go.