Lost

Hi guys,i will try to make a long story shorter,my son moved back home recently,he moved out as he was just turning our lives upside down.since moving back and breaking up with his girlfriend he has been so sad....we have tried to support him in every way....he very recently tried to take his own life..again we have been very supportive of him and trying to keep him on track.... he says he wants help but then will not go to any appointments we set up for him....eg counselling/psychologist...he barely even says hello when je walks in the door but is happy to talk when he needs something done for him but at the same times wants his independence...... he is a very selfish 18 Year old that is so rude and self centered... he has turned our world upside down again.....our other child says our house is kaotic again and does not likr it....he is a pot smoker which is so hard to see him look like that (pot not aloud here)i want too keep supporting him but i think he is very much taking advatage of us.he loses his temper very very easy and becomes irrate at the slightest bit of mum nagging...he does not one thing around the house....i struggle to find anything positive about him... (i would never say that to him) i am.at my wits end...i have tried calm and leave him be as he requests...some things have to be discussed surely? What do i do...he just hates me and i do everything....so i stopped doing every thing so he can have the independence he wants and he accuses me of not caring.i just can't get break! Thanks for listening x