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FROM LAST MONTH

Last month a mother wrote in about her 28yr son with asperger's who’s new girlfriend along with her family are taking him on a ride and financially using him in every possible way.

I sadly know who this story is about. And my hands are tied and I don’t know how to help.
The mother in law recently moved out which has been good for him but things at home haven’t changed at all.
The girlfriend is abusive. There’s so other way to put it. She is physically, mentally, emotionally and financially abusing this Poor guy.
He is an aspie and she uses it against him all the time. This poor guy is shutting off and this woman and her family are just using him.
The sister still lives there as does the brother but he apparently will be moving out soon. But the sister and the girlfriend as a family unit they know full well they are taking advantage.

The girlfriend is pregnant and there is an extremely high chance this baby isn’t even his. But she plays so many mind games he doesn’t even know what to think. He knows deep down the baby most likely isn’t his. But the games she plays with his head don’t help once he starts to see the clear picture. He’ll see everything how it is and want to leave. He wants to leave her. He doesn’t want to be with her. But she messes with his head and traps him. He’ll be ready to leave and be so done with everything but she gets in his head. It’s heartbreaking.
The poor guy flew the girlfriend and her two children up to mackay to go see her ex in August which by such chance is also when this baby was conceived. We together sat down and worked out the conception dates the doctor gave and he knows the baby isn’t his. He wants to leave. But she guilt trips him like you wouldn’t believe.
She pulls out on him all the time that he slept with her ex when she flew up there. In any fight they have she pulls this card on him. Because she knows how badly it hurts him and she loves to see him hurt and continues to say things like this and other really hateful stuff tear him down.. She is also constantly pulling the ‘this isn’t your baby’ card. She is absolutely disgusting..
She is constantly hitting him and throwing things at him. She threatens to end the pregnancy all the time as a threat.

The day this guy gets paid she drains the bank account. She has never paid the rent once. The electric, the phone or the internet. He’s getting so far behind in these payments it’s not good. She’s using him for after pay things just so she can have the latest and greatest things. Guilts him into getting things for the kids on afterpay. She’s taking advantage to his kind heart and just walking all over him. She manipulated him into adding a mobile account got herself in his name, on his mobile account and said she’d give him the money to pay for it. Not once has she paid for it and because of everything else she demands he pay for he can’t keep up with everything..

She is constantly hitting him. Punching (even while he is driving) and hurting him physically. Throwing things at him and shoving him all the time and because of 2 things, 1 because he is a real man and prides himself on never hitting a woman and the second because he is an aspie when she hits him he shuts down and just almost zones out because he can’t handle it. He can’t take being touched this way. I would dare say he has ptsd from being bullied so badly in school so this is also why he shuts down...

This woman is a real piece of work.
I don’t know know how to help him.
She is socially isolating him from everyone..
he had a great circle of mates that he used to do competitions with.. but if he was to go see his mates to prepare for a comp she’d tell him ‘if you go I won’t be here when you get back’
She does the same thing for when he’s had competitions. Or even when the poor guy goes to see his own father.
The girlfriend has banned his dad from coming to the house. So I dare say even if his Mum were to have come down to see him and help
This piece of work would have kicked her out...
but for a guy to just go and see his mate the girlfriend will tell him she’ll leave him and breakup with him and never see him again. She threatens she’ll take the baby away and he’ll never see the baby. If he even helps a mate out after work she calls him telling him he has thirty minutes to be home or she won’t be there when he gets back. He’s literally allowed no friends at all. She controls so much.

While his mum and Dad and a psychologist
That he’s seeing are aware of what’s going on.. he hides how bad things really are because of what ever reason.
His mum lives up north and his dad is in the same city. But because this girlfriend is so controlling he never sees his dad. While he still talks to his Mum and dad almost daily he’ll never admit how bad things really are.
There’s occasions where he’ll leave to go stay with his dad for a break or come see me who is his best friend but the phone calls and abusive messages he cops and then the treatment he gets when he gets home it really isn’t ok.
There’s been times when he’s told her he’s gonna go see his dad go hang out with him and she’ll take his car keys and hide them so he can’t leave. Or she’ll stand behind or in front of the car to stop him from leaving.
She throws guilt trips like you have to be home by 7 to tuck the kids into bed (two little kids that aren’t his but he’s raising and doing the best he can for. He pays for everything for them but she on a daily basis shouts to him ‘they aren’t your kids’)

She’s getting him in serious trouble financially and I don’t know how to help.
She loves to cause a scene and draw attention. She’s gone as far as very recently when he was helping a work mate out after work she messaged the work friend asking where he was and to call her etc. she’ll call his work and abuse him down the phone.

I have no idea how to help this poor guy.
He is an amazing young man and so kind hearted and I don’t know how to help him.
I wish I was able to talk to his parents and let them know how bad things really are but I am not able to.
Its breaking my heart to see this woman break down such a beautiful soul.
I’m worried it’ll get to the point where she will have cut him off from absolutely everyone and he won’t be able to have contact with anyone at all and I don’t know how he will manage. As it is. This woman is only letting him chat to his mum and his dad but even with them she limits how much he can talk to them.

I don’t know how to help.
It breaks my heart to see him being treated this way and I can’t do anything.
I’m hoping that his Mum sees this and knows how bad things are and he’s not telling the full story on how dangerous things are and that S is emotionally, physically, mentally, financially abusing him and socially isolating him.
As it stands no one even knows he’s in contact with me. I’m sure if she actually knew she would physically kill him. That’s how worried I am for him. That she threatens things like this so much.

What can I do please? How can we help him. He wants to leave but the hold she has on him is heart breaking.