My 14 year old brother is in my care and has been for the last 4 years. He is slightly overweight and is a fussy eater when it comes to fruits, salads and wholemeal breads. He eats most vegetables and meat dishes with pasta or rice which aren't always the healthiest. Now that it's summer we like to eat salads or cold foods with meat (simple and quick) which he refuses to eat, which then I have to cook him a separate hot meal. I have younger children 6 & 2 who are good eaters but are picking up on his bad behaviour toward food and are starting to copy. He has his own money which he is constantly buying soft drinks or fast food with and bringing it home to eat in front of the younger ones. At dinner he will have soft drink (that he has bought) with his dinner but the rest of the family has water which upsets my younger children wanting what he has. If I tell him he can't have it he says he bought it himself so he can plus I have other family members telling me I'm too strict.
How do other families deal with this situation when there's such a large age gap?
Bad eating habits
Bad eating habits
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Food, Health & Wellbeing, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
4 Replies
There needs to be some compromise. He can buy whatever he wants. But he should eat the takeaway out of the home. So if he buys maccas he can eat it before he gets home.
I see soft drink with a meal/dinner as 'teenage wine'. Your kids will learn the rules and learn to understand that just because there cousin gets to do something doesn't mean they are old enough to have it with every dinner. My niece and nephews learnt this rule around my son very quickly. My son is 10 years older and at times we've lived together. Just because I have a wine with dinner, doesn't mean my kids will want one and if they do, it's my job to teach them why they can't.
Find out what he likes to eat for dinner and compromise. If there is something he likes to eat, cook a big batch so you are just reheating rather than cooking from scratch every night for him. Remember he doesn't come from the same upbringing and rules as your children. So it's a huge adjustment for him too. Plus he's a teenager so he needs different rules to young children. You wouldn't let your 2 year old cross the street on there own, but you won't stop the teenager from doing it, just like drinking coke and eating dinner.
Teenagers you really do need to pick your battles and you don't want to get stuck into battles over things when he is otherwise being a good kid. Gentle repeat witnessing of you all eat your food over a long period of time is your best chance of him trying your food. Putting your foot down with a 14 year old who you haven't been parenting since a toddler won't work.
Agree with first reply also, if he wants take out food, he can have it but he needs to pay for it himself and not eat it at the house infront of the other children.
Maybe ask him to help you in the kitchen to prepare dinners, eg; salads, summer meals: this might help him to show more interest in the food because he helped to cook/ create it, get him to help you make his own meals. Find out the foods he does like and try and put a healthy twist on it. You may just need to help continue to encourage him to eat and try new/ different foods.
I actually don't think you're being strict enough!
He's still a child, you are responsible for his health so don't listen to what they say. If he's slightly overweight at 14 and his eating habits continue this way, he'll only get more overweight as the years go by until he reaches crippling obesity and the debilitating health issues that accompany that.
So, I would do these things:
1. No soft drink in the house and in front of the younger kids, same with fast food.
2. Under no circumstances make him separate meals, he either choses to try new stuff or he has nothing. Discourage comfort eating too!
3. Get him involved in the cooking process. He's a teenaged boy, his appetite probably is huge so he'll enjoy heartier meals more than salad honestly so maybe teach him to use a slow cooker and prepare some stuff for himself that he can have with mashed potatoes or plain rice (avoid the flavoured packet rices - so much salt!)
4. Presumably you're in control of the grocery shopping, limit pre packaged snacks and processed foods. Opt for things like plain yogurt, mixed unsalted nuts, even cheese and crackers are a better option than fast food.
5. See a nutritionist and a dietitian - I think a professional opinion would be very beneficial.
6. Get him active! You don't say if he's involved in sports or anything like that so I'll assume he's not (if he is, disregard this lol). Doesn't have to be a team sport, it could be swimming, boxing, martial arts, running there's plenty of options.
7. Lastly, be patient with him. These bad habits have been developed over a long period of time, you're not going to see an improvement over night. Especially with the soft drink, that stuff can be seriously hard to kick.
He’s 14 and living under your roof, he should be old enough to know to respect your rules, don’t panda to what he wants!
If he want take out and he pays for it sure, tell him don’t bring it home to eat in front of the kids, he can go to a park!
Have a water only rule at the dinner table, he can take his soft drinks to his room where others can’t see it!
If he chooses not to eat what you make DONT make him anything else, your obviously not doing that for your own kids, why do it for him???