Mothers death what can I do?

My mother passed away from bladder cancer this year and her husband is a control freak.
Long story
Mum met her husband at in 2000 he has always had control over her. Financial and emotional abuse even tried to control us her children .i was 18 and as 18 year olds want to go out and enjoy the night life, mum had to sneak me in and out because i had a 10pm curfew. We ran away as she picked him over us. We had nothing but they alway went away leaving my brother in my care when i was 17.
I walked out of my mothers life for 5 years while i had children of my own i always had to hear about how horrible he was to her when we did talk.
In the last 8 years we talked over the phone or i'd visit while he was at work he gives me the creeps.
Anyway while my mum was dying he hit her and kept pain medication away from her. She wanted to leave but was way too unwell and i live now interstate. She ended up in palliative care for her final moments she passed with her side. He blames them for him not spending time. Fast forward to her funeral she chose to be cremated and placed with her father. Me and my brother were not even given the opertunity of speaking at her funeral my uncle and his sister were. To which my uncle refused so I did it. He also refused to let me view her though he backed down when his family said.
It has been a year and we would like to send her off with her dad. But he won't talk to us. My mum had no will but we have her wishes on video. We are yet to get our photos or setimental items that was promised.
Sorry for the long post kinda needed the vent.