How do you make it all work?

How does everyone make their life work? I feel like I’m constantly trying to fit miss 5 into my life rather than fitting life around her. She’s off to school in three weeks which will help tremendously but until then I’m not coping. I feel so guilty the last three weeks of the holidays there’s been no her time. First week was Xmas and second week New Years so it was running around with family and friends. I’m on double shifts at work which she’s been dragged along too most days and then have clients who I do work for usually once she goes to bed or straight after morning shift with her coming along . We might have an hour or two max during the day of tv time reading or play together but haven’t had one full day of just miss D in the three weeks. I have a new job starting next week casual which she can’t come too so she’ll be palmed off to family members on those days.
I feel like absolute shit about it and were just at each other’s throats she’s grumpy at being at work and I’m over her attitude. Family and friends keep saying she will be fine she’s lucky she can come to work rather than not see you all day but that’s not how I’m feeling. How does everyone balance kids with life?