Hey Mummas
Does any one have some advise for me??
My son is about to turn four and he has started going to pre Kindy 4 days a week I am used to him going 3 days!! My partner feels like it’s important for him to go 4 days as it will prepare him for school next year and know it’s good for him!! I love the day care center and he loves going and he has started to make some really nice friends!!
I have always had a hard time being away from my kids I have only ever had 2 nights away from them at a time. I have started working part time so I feel like I am not getting enough time with the kids and I know I have another 12 months before he starts school but I also know how quickly it will go!!
Sorry to ramble but does anyone have any advise on letting go or has been through going through the same thing I talk to my friends about it and they are supportive but also don’t get it as they are used to working full time and having there kids in full time care It’s really bothering me and I know I have to suck it up but I just can’t seem to!
any advise is appreciated but please be kind
Having a hard time letting go
Having a hard time letting go
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
9 Replies
If you miss him be home with him. Hes four he doesnt need to prepare for school or uni or work. Hes four years old. A baby. Be with him you wont get the chance again. And honestly who cares if other mums dont get it. They might be crazy at home or committed to work and a savings plan so think of it as not an option. Thats them. You do you.
My daughter only went to pre kindy 2 days a week and she was fine. If you like how it is now then that's nothing wrong with him just going 3 days a week.
Parenting is a marathon not a sprint. You’ll need to be available to your kids intensely and less intensely at different times and phases in there lives. We kind of get caught up in thinking we need to be super available to our toddlers and preschoolers but I promise those tweens and teens need us to be switched on and available because that’s when the shit can really hit the fan!
At this moment your youngest doesn’t need you to be intensely involved. This is the age where they learn loads of people can support them and they grow in confidence learning they are apart of a community. They learn about friends and creating there own little networks. This us AMAZING to watch them spread there wings.
Yes it can be hard to extend the cord but yourchikd isn’t going anywhere and he will need you in loads of different amazing ways as he grows up.
There is absolutely no study or evidence that says that any form of schooling or care before school level benefits a child more than staying at home.
The parent can provide all of the opportunities for development that a four year old needs. Its completely up to her if she wants to stay or work she shouldn't feel pressured that its necessary for the child's development as thats not true.
I have no opinion one way or the other. The imperfect mum asked how she could adjust to her current circumstances. I offered an alternate way of thinking.
She didn't ask should she send her child to daycare for 4 days.
Yes that's true, if she chooses to send him she might as well look at it positively. I guess I read it as though she doesn't want to send him the extra day but feels pressured.
I think acceptance is key.
Our kids never stay little for as long as we want them to and as much as we want to sometimes, we can't hang on to them forever. Sometimes our inability to let go (particularly as mothers) can make things harder on everyone. You've just got to see the silver linings, it sounds like he loves kinder, he gets to socialize and interact with his peers, he's learning independence and it makes the time you do spend together more special which brings me to my next point.
Quality time is much more important than quantity of time. I'm a stay at home mum and it occurred to me one day - even though my children were home with me all the time, I wasn't really spending much quality time with them, we were just in each others presence. I worked hard to change that.
Ultimately, your his mum. He needs you at 4, he'll need you when he's 40. The capacity in which he needs you may change over the years but there will always be a special place for you in his life.
Approved kinder (not kinder through daycare) in Qld, where my son went, was two days one week and three days the other. He had no problem transitioning to full time school, not sure why your husband feels he needs to go to daycare four days a week. Also, do you have the option of a kinder outside of daycare, my sister is a prep teacher and says this setting is more conducive to getting ready for school, as daycare has a completely different vibe.
On the days that he's with you, don't do things like chores. Sit and play with his toys. Interact with him and forget everything else.
My weekends are just playing with Lego now. I'm loving it