I’ve been seeing a somewhat younger man and need some advice. He and I have been friends for ages, we talk all hours of the day and night and tell each other everything. Im always there for him and he for me. We decided we love each other and should go out together as more than friends. I have four kids and can’t have more and he doesn’t want any. That’s not an issue. We both have mild autism and manage our limitations well. We always have a great time together and have been very happy, and we go camping and things together and have had no problems. We live in small country towns 20 minutes apart. What’s wrong is someone in my town knows his parents well and has told his dad that I am just using him to get pregnant and take his money and leave him with the baby and that I’ve been married four times and have kids to three men, all of which is lies. I can’t get pregnant again anyway and I’d never do such things. The dad believes her because she’s a good family friend. She’s upset with me because I went out with a friend of hers a few years ago and I dumped that man because he drank too much and didn’t spend time with me. She told my loves dad it’s because I wanted a baby and he didn’t and he’s believed her and has convinced my man that I’ve used him and am a bad woman. I’ve lost my lover, my best friend, my confidant and my soulmate and I don’t know what to do to fix this up. How can I see his folks and tell them I’m a good woman who doesn’t do bad things like that and who loves their son more than anything? I know they want to protect him from harm, but I’m not harm. What the heck do I do to make it right?
3 Replies
Its awful to have people be malicious about us, shes a bitch for interfering. BUT if he knew everything and knew you, then you wouldn't have lost him over this. If he is an independent person, not someone whose strings are pulled by hisparents and their friends, then he would have stood by you and stood up for you.
The fact that he didnt tells me hes not your love and if hes like this, its better he does this now rather than later down the track.
You dont need to explain or defend yourself to anybody.
You deserve better.
He knows you fully and has chosen to break up, you can’t put that on anyone else. He is not a child who needs permission from his parents, do you really want to be with someone that you have to convince their parents before they will be with you? My mum and dad were married in 1972, still to this day. In the beginning my nana forbid my mum to see him and she never really liked him (he’s a great husband and dad). If he really loved you, he wouldn’t care about lies, he would defend and support you and not believe this rubbish. Keep being your awesome self and the right person will come along because he isn’t it.
Honey, you dont owe an explanation to anyone. Hold your head high and wait patiently. You should not have to beg or explain to make your man be with you or see value in you. You know your value, and he will realise what he has lost before too long if you can just hold out for a few weeks without reacting he will come back.. Best thing to do is focus on yourself, get your hair done, get pampered, spend time with friends and family who will remind you that you are amazing just the way you are.