I don't have a question but more so wanting to see if I did the right thing, bare with me this could get messy, sorry in advance.
I have had a rather rocky relationship with my children's father. We have broken up a couple of times and I have given him chances. We had started new and fresh a year ago putting everything behind us. Things were going well.
I have written in before asking questions about it. In February I found out he was on Internet dating sites looking for girls to talk dirty to. He says he didn't end up doing it because all the ones he went onto you had to pay. He came clean and I told him no more lies as he had lied about more before that.
He had lost someone very close to him in February also, it really got him down. He tells me now that he has been, for lack of better words, self medicating (drugs). For so long he was an addict and he stopped using for a year. The thing is its been months and now he finally comes clean after I found out.
I can't take anymore lies from him and I can't be with someone who has broken my trust, then as I start to rebuild it in him brakes it again. I decided to end it with him and not give anymore chances. The thing is I'm second guessing myself now and I might have made a mistake. I'm not going to take the kids away from him but he also won't be able to see them without an appropriate person supervising, most likely me. My head is telling me it's the right thing, it's my heart that's the problem. I have also told him I will help him through this but I am unable to be with him because I can't trust him and can't keep watching him.
Have I done the right thing? Should I have stuck by him? Should I have helped him through this as his partner? Will one day I finally look back on this and go "yes, I made the right decision for all of us"?
If there is any advice anyone would like to add it would be much appreciated also.
Tia
3 Replies
You have done the right thing. I think questioning yourself is quite normal (which is why some people end up going back time and time again). It's clear he has lots of work to do on himself learning how to deal with his feelings in appropriate ways before he is ready to be in a long term relationship. Stay strong
I think u have done the right thing. Of course u love him his the father of ur children. And it's very honourable of u to say u will help him through this not everyone would do this. The fact of the matter is it sounds like u have always put him first in ur relationship for once u are putting ur self first and ur feeling guilty about it. I would suggest start thinking about u and ur children and making some goals for the future for once start to put ur self first and take each day as it comes.
you have done the right thing. 100% right thing. you gave him too many chances, hes proved he doesnt take them seriously, and will continue to hurt you and you deserve better in life.
I totally understand cos im in the same situation. caught cheating, while spending the last 3 months (separated) hes been trying to prove he is now a better man with no more lies, hes sworn to my face 1000 times there is nothing else, i know everything and we can start clean. ive just found out there was another girl, read the whole conversation over years and up until the week before he was busted. hes out of chances. if he can lie to you in that situation, then theres no helping him. and i know how it is for him to say oops, i dont know why i didnt say anything, please lets keep working... dont doubt yourself, your head knows whats right! maybe stop contact if you get swayed when you talk to him.