How do I move on..
The last 4 yrs I have been fighting for my sons right to be apart of his dad's life.. But "dad" is so involved in his own life to give a second thought to our son. All I want is our son to have both parents in his life...
Dad... Seems to think that his son is his "number 1" but chooses his "life" (work, new family etc).above all..
I am always trying to get him involved in his sons life but he continues to not to be..
I am so over his selfishness, ignorance and his petty behaviour. I feel so angry and sad for our son and nothing I do or say can change how he is!!
I want to just give up on "dad" but feel guilty for doing so..
I know it's easy to say that in the end that our son will choose the parent who has always been there or it's the dad's loss.
My question is how do I stop fighting for my son.. How do I move on.. And not be so upset that my sons father can't be bothered.
It's not fair for our son..
I just want leave our broken marriage behind but can't..
I constantly think about my sons relationship with his dad!! And I am not getting anywhere! :-(
How do I move on....
How do I move on....
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Loss & Grief
3 Replies
Good on you for fighting for your sons relationship with his father. Your right though you are not going to change his fathers mind though. Did you get any counselling after the break up? It's probably a good idea to start going now. I think it's easy to get so focused on 'fixing' something and forget to grieve. Try from now on diverting your energy to making yours and your sons lives the best they can be (without his father). You should not feel guilty. Think about how much time and energy you can put into a happy fulfilled life now you won't have to spend energy on your sons father. Your son will be happier because he will have a happier relaxed mummy rather than an angry one.
I am in the same situation, it's so difficult and heart breaking. I am also lost with what I can do. I have been going through this for 3 years now and my x husband is still so self focused. I really feel for my son as he is the one missing out, I wish his father could see that.
This is how you stop - you stop being the one making contact. If your ex doesn't pick up the slack then don't bother. My mum made sure my dad always saw us etc etc but now as an adult I wish she hadn't. Because he was never that interested unless we initiated the contact - a relationship is a 2 way street & finally I decided as an adult to stop making contact & guess what - didn't hear back from him. I'd rather an absent father than a casual father. If he wants to be a dad then he will step up to the plate & be one