Help! Please I’m giving up on my kids. With how I’m feeling right at this moment I don’t want to be there mother anymore! I love them but I don’t like them very much right now. Have come from a Dv background with child abuse allegations. They are currently in therapy with a child physchologist on the wait list for councelling and the pediatrician. My two oldest are out of control. I have been told they both have ptsd and possibly other disorders but waiting for the pead to diagnose. They don’t listen at all they speak to me like shit they don’t do what they are told they have no respect for others or property they destroy everything walls carpet furniture clothes ect one is very aggressive lies steals and gets dangerously violent iv threatened calling the police attacks me when I try to disipline. The other doesn’t sleep moods up and down very irrational screams and not a normal scream like a physco like she’s being attack (help help someone help me ) so loud the neighbours can hear when you goto discipline and put in time out it went on for 4 hours last night she’s 8 I have had enough I can not deal or cope with the behaviour anymore I don’t know what else to do?! I’m trying everything to get the help they need and I’m failing. I don’t want to be a mum anymore I feel like they have pushed me to the brink of giving up. Feeling lost guilty like a failer and shit mum! I need some respite but just don’t know how
2 Replies
Hi there. Your family is in crisis. Youre trying to hold yourself and these precious mixed upkids together. It will feel like chaos right now.
Can i suggest you 1. Take care of yourself. Your own wellbeing, mental health and self care.
And 2. Take it easy on the kids. Dont waste a night or four hours trying to enforce a time out. Its the last thing they want or need at this point either. Give them a hug and defuse the situation. Give everyone calm. Do something nice that they will want to be a part of. Model kindness and love and respect - especially when things get tense.
Can you use school vacation care to get a break?
Things will get better than this. Especially when the kids get help and you get to understand them and learn the strategies that work with them.
You feel like they are pushing you to the brink? They were pushed to the brink in the DV situation.
It’s really super hard parenting kids with extra needs. I totally get it and do it Day to day. There have been days where I’ve thought about walking away. But what good would actually come of you or me walking away? Your/my children would end up in a broken foster care system or worse in a facility. For something that they had no control over.
Yes you need to look after yourself and you need to pick your battles. That might mean psychological help for you, getting some exercise etc. I know that might seem impossible when you are in the eye of the storm but that’s when I find it’s the most important.