Please be gentle, I honestly am surprised that I even feel this way.
I am 22 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and final child. We have a 4 year old boy, a 2 year old Boy and this baby is also a boy. After having a miscarriage early last year we spent the rest of the year trying to fall pregnant. In early January that happened! This pregnancy has been very trying on my body and mind, I have crohns disease, I have had HG up until 19 weeks and continue to be vomiting almost daily, my iron is extremely low, I have been diagnosed with prenatal depression and I have been hospitalised multiple times for dehydration and extreme back pain. So because of all of that we decided this is our last baby. Which I am okay with but when we found out we are expecting a boy I unexpectedly felt quite sad that I wouldn't get a girl, not that this gorgeous heathly baby is a boy but that I wouldn't get another chance to have a girl. I'm not really sure what I'm asking here I guess I just wanted some reassurance that maybe how I am feeling isn't completely crazy?
Last baby and taking gender harder than I thought
Last baby and taking gender harder than I thought
Posted in:
Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy
9 Replies
Honestly all kids are so different anyway. Even if you have a boy and a girl you won't ever get to experience everything because all kids are just super different! I know people who wanted girls so they could be pretty ballet dancers or be a "mini me" of mum and their girls turned out liking soccer and looking just like dad! I even know someone who had 2 boys and her third was a girl and now she wishes she had stopped at just her 2 boys because having kids of all the same sex was easier. I wish you luck in the rest of your pregnancy of your beautiful baby boy.
In my case I've got a boy who likes dresses and my little pony
It's not crazy. It's quite normal actually. Many experience the sadness when they realise they will not have a parent-child relationship they envisioned or dreamed they might have. It doesn't mean you will love this child any less. It doesn't mean you're not grateful for the gift of a healthy child.
Please don't add guilt to your already long list of difficulties with this pregnancy. It's more common than you realise and you have time to move through the sadness before bubby arrives. I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy.
You can be excited and grateful for the son your having while grieving for the daughter you likely won't get.
You are allowed to be conflicted!
Slightly off topic but I always thought having a houseful of little boys running around would be so much fun, you have a lot to look forward to 😀
Totally okay for you to be upset. It doesn’t mean you won’t love your third boy any less.
I have 1 boy 1 girl. Trust me it's over rated the need to have both. Life would actually be easier with just the one gender. Xxx
I completely agree! Also same sex siblings are generally so much closer. It really is overrated to have both.
Aww hun. It's really overrated to have both. I'm so jealous of the closeness same sex sibling families have xx
You are very unwell, that would not be helping these feelings. Be gentle with yourself. Continue seeking counseling. Just think, one of your boys might be gay or end up transgender and you get your girl after all ☺️