Mums who only have one child do you regret not having another?
I’ve got an 11 month old. I lost 3 babies prior to her. I’ve struggled with pregnancy, labour and motherhood so far. I suffer from depression and anxiety.
My daughter is incredible, happy and healthy (thank you lord) and I love her to bits.
I just don’t know if I could handle another child and it’s not something I’m willing to discuss with my hubby for a couple of years (I’m 34 now).
I know he and his family would love another child, I think they want a boy to carry on the family name. And because of that I feel pressured to have another child. And my husband and mother in law have made me feel guilty because they reckon I promised a little boy to my father in law on his death bed (I didn’t make a promise).
At the moment I’m really not interested in another child and I know that may change.
I will add that my hubby works away so I’m on my own every second week and those are the moments I struggle.
Not really sure what I’m asking, just confused.
Do you regret only having one child?
Do you regret only having one child?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy, Kids
7 Replies
I’m one of 5 girls ... just saying! No guarantees you’d have a boy. When you’re ready I think you need to have an honest conversation with your husband about your anxieties and fears.
It’s still really early days in terms of the age of your daughter. I couldn’t think about a third until she turned 3, because I had some traumatic experiences. I guess the only thing is your age and your previous history if you did decide in years to come that you did want more.
But just know that I think it’s completely normal to still feel the way you are right now.
I have one child. He’s an adult now. I’ve never regretted it. EVER.
I gave myself the work load I could handle. I didn’t do anything permament (get my tubes tied) until my son was older.
And you can’t keep trying for a gender. My cousins ended up with 5 boys, trying for a girl.
My advice, your daughter is only young. You need time to recover and get back on your feet. But they need to back off!
Nope, no regrets. Had my one & only child at 34 conceived by ivf on our first try. Had a difficult pregnancy (bleeding through to 12 weeks & low lying placenta). He was 6 weeks prem after waking up one morning with blood everywhere. After he was delivered safely I knew then and there he would be my old child. He was healthy and home 8 days after birth. He was a great baby, sleeping through the night by 3 months. He is now 15 and a great kid. I didn’t and still don’t care what anyone else thinks and our son has never asked for a sibling/s. Personally, I think you know when you are done. I was clucky before I had my son and haven’t been since.
I know people with 4 + kids all girls so there's no guarantee you'll have a boy (and personally I think that's a really crap reason to have a child anyway!) I wouldn't listen to what they say. If you don't want anymore kids you don't need to have one. You don't owe any of your family or your in laws any more children.
Honestly, 1 child would be easier. And my second is the easy child lol. But 2 is harder.
I have one child and don’t regret it for a minute she’s almost 10. Not long after I found Out I was pregnant I swore no more And have stuck too it don’t let anyone pressure you if you don’t want more then that’s ok