So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my 4th child, my husband wants an abortion, and I know it’s the right thing to do as we are not in a strong position as a family due to some marriage problems we had a few months ago, however I’m struggling with the thought of aborting this pregnancy, I’m exhausted with everything, when I think of this pregnancy I think of it’s a piece of my husband and I, so I guess my question is, if your husband didn’t want the baby and you kept it, how did you cope? And if you aborted cause you knew it was the right thing to do but you didn’t really want too, how did you feel afterwards, please no judgemental comments, I’m just after advice on what others have done, I’m just so exhausted.
9 Replies
I would abort with difficulty if I fell pregnant as hubby wouldn't want it, I have health issues with pregnancy and it would impact negatively on the family as a whole as we now do things a baby would limit like motorbike riding. But my health issues are so significant I would deal with the decision in time. I think you need to have an honest discussion with hubby and look at which decision is a bigger deal breaker for either of you.
My dad told my mum to get an abortion 3 times. Everytime she refused. I'm glad our mum stuck up for herself. If your husband didn't want anymore it should already have been an active topic and he should have got the snip or planned other contraception together. But I guessing you didn't or weren't careful enough and now your pregnant whoops. He should know sex leads to babies. It's your choice. It's you who has to go through it and you who will be hurt
I was in this position with a long term partner. It was right to abort the baby.
If you do it and he resents your for it, then your marriage won’t survive.
Babies are not band aids.
I bowed to pressure from my husband and my mother to terminate, and I regret it. It’s been two years and I’m still crying every day. I hate my husband for being so willing to force me to do that, and so reluctant to go and have the snip because HE didn’t want anymore, and I can’t use any form of birth control.
My partner didn’t want what would be my 4th, his 2nd and it made for a really unpleasant pregnancy but the second that baby was born (and I mean literally the second) the room was filled with more love than a thousand lifetimes could fill. He also said to me the day we got home thankyou for not listening to me, and I responded with thankyou for not leaving me.
While it may not be a good time for a baby, if you feel you can’t end your pregnancy don’t. You will live with more regret and resentment than you could know
Just went thru this, but I wanted to abort and my hubby supported me.
I have extremely difficult pregnancies and just couldn't cope physically or mentally having a 4th after a 5 yr gap and being close to 40.....
I made the right choice for myself and my family, I have no regrets.
Only you can make the final decision.
This is completely 100 percent only your desicion. It is your body. He should have had the snip or used a condom that's where his control ends. What do you want? Do that. Much love to you. I have had an abortion, it was my decision no one else's. I have 2 children now and love them dearly, and pray for my little angel in heaven. I do regret having the abortion, but i accept that it was what I thought was best at that time.
I was in the same position with my 5th child. Financially, physically and emotionally I knew I couldn’t cope, and that I couldn’t give another child a good life - it also wouldn’t be fair to my other children. It wasn’t just about me, it was a choice that would impact everyone that I loved. As hard as it was, I terminated the pregnancy - as early as possible, and though I feel sad about what happened, I do not regret it one bit, and I know I made the right choice for me and for my family.
Don't abort for him. You will end up resenting him forever.
Do what is right for you.