Despite using birth control i found out i am pregnant yesterday.
In a state of shock & denial and feel really alone.
Its even hard to post anon because so many people have strong opinions but i cannot have another child, however id always been uncomfortable about abortions.
I cant talk to my dr about not wanting it, i feel judged and i dont know how my own mum would react or my friends so im keeping it to myself & my partner but im scared and upset.
Is there any services i can speak to?
10 Replies
Google family planning for your state and you'll be able to find some websites, phone numbers and other resources relevant to your situation.
There's always lifeline if you're feeling down, alone and just need someone to talk to 13 11 14
Also, if your doctor makes you feel judged - you need a new one!
Just remember, you're the only one who has to live with this choice so no one else's opinions matter. You needn't feel any guilt for making the choice that YOU need to.
Good luck xx
Yep, if you feel judged by your Dr, get a new one.
It’s their job to support/help with these kinds of things and they shouldn’t have strong opinions either way about abortions so if they do, they aren’t the one for you.
I can’t help much more other then that. Stop being so hard on yourself. Our thoughts and opinions change constantly, so even if you were once against abortions, you know your own life circumstances and what works for you, and what doesn’t. You’ll make the right choice, for you. You’ve just gotta own it. As hard as it is, you know best.
Good luck.
Why can't you have another child? If it's because of medical reasons you really need to think of yourself and your current children especially if it could be life threatening to have another baby. Your life is more important than other peoples judgement x
Call up a service such as children by choice.
They can give you non biased advice.
You need to do what is best for you and your circumstances.
No one else has to live your life so they have no right to judge.
Good luck and don't feel guilty, we have these options for a reason.
Girl. I would personally talk to you! If you are against abortion have you really thought much into adoption?
Call the Tabbot foundation , you still need to have scan and bloods but it’s only to make sure you’re within the time frame. X
I am in the same boat, pregnant with my fourth. I can't consider abortion either. The pregnancy has settled on me kind of and I am resigned that this is happening. I have not told my family yet and am too ashamed to.
You're not alone- for whatever that is worth. I am pregnant with an unplanned bub (conceived on birth control) , due any day now. I have always been against termination but this time I booked one, but couldn't go through with it. All the reasons I tell myself I can't have another baby are pretty superficial when compared to the value of a child's life. Only you know your "whys" and if they make this un-doable. Your choice entirely and no one elses opinion really matters. I was worried about people's opinion if I continued the pregnancy, & I know there are people in our lives judging us- but at the end of the day I need to sleep with my decisions. No one else gets a vote. I hope you find peace with your decision- which ever direction you choose. The shoes you are wearing now have been worn by 1000's of women- all of whom made a vastly different decisions based on their circumstance. There is no black and white here- give yourself the grace to make a tough decision.
I'm sorry this is such a surprise and shock. It's really crap this happened to you when you were taking action to prevent a pregnancy. Many women have faced this. It's tough, but is totally up to you what you do. No judgement, it can and has happened to many women. Each state has different support services- some are masquerading as neutral but they're not. The women's hospital in each state usually has a service that will support any decision you make, and often offers free counseling. Also sounds like children by choice in qld has contact details for services in other states and family planning is national. I used to work at one of these services and there were literally hundreds of women a day calling who were struggling with what to do. Reach out. You'll be ok, you just need help to decide and get through whatever path you take. Sending big hugs.
No judgments here, hun.
I'll admit that it is more emotionally hurtful than physically hurtful to get one. But if done for the right reasons (your choice is a good enough reason), then you will be able to heal.
Do what is right for you