I'm wondering if my 3 year old needs councling?
She has never meet her father. He wasn't a nice man and when I told him we were having a child (we had been together 2 years and living together with his other daughter) he told me I couldn't keep her. He was beyond words abusive. I almost lost my daughter after an attack one night.
Well I left him at 13 weeks pregnant. And moved interstate to live with my dad. He never tried to get custody.
When she was 10 months I meet a man who had 2 son's full time. It was all so perfect. His family was the kindest most excepting family I have ever meet. I miss them every day so does my daughter. She called his parents Grandma and Grandpa. We didn't live together but we spent alomst every night together. We loved them so much. He taught her with me to walk talk and everything in between.
Until he started drinking. Every night 2 bottles of red plus what ever else he wanted on the night. He was verbally abusive. Always checking my phone in the night. Accusing me of cheating. Then i found out he was cheating.
We were together 2 years. (That seems to be my bad luck year) Until I left.
It's been 5 months now and my daughters still talking about him and his sons. The youngest son is her imaginary friend.
Even though he was quite mean to her always biting her and chasing her she misses him. But she does always run to me crying now saying his after her or he bit her. I try and tell her his not really here any more. But then she can sit down and play with him. She's started to do bad behavior and then blame him for it.
She still saying to me. "Mum are you okay? X (his name) hurt your heart?" It's been 5 months and she still doesn't seem to be able to deal with it.
A month after we left him we moved back home interstate because I couldn't afford rent any more. That was another huge adjustment for her.
She's noticing more now she doesn't have a dad. She questions where he is? And why she doesn't have one?
We were in a show shop Christmas Eve and my mum was helping out a stranger she was holding her baby while she put on her shoes. The baby's dad came in soon after and mum handed him his baby. My daughter asked who he was and my mum said "that's her dad". My daughter looked confused and said "she's for a daddy". It's so sad.
So I saw a MCHN and she suggested it could be a good idea for her to see someone.
Does my daughter need councling
Does my daughter need councling
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Loss & Grief, Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler, Kids
8 Replies
It's a good idea for you to see someone. As long as you're healthy and know what you're doing and saying and modeling (they can help with all of that) then she will be fine with just you.
PS. I would call 2 years your good luck year! Just need to learn to see the signs and protect your little one. You can't replace her dad. He is what he is. All she needs is you.
Definitely seek some support for your daughter
In this case, maybe.
If she goes to preschool they might be able to help her work through it.
My son is 4, never had a father, never asked about his father and doesn’t see our situation as any different to anyone else’s.
To cut to the chase, it think it would greatly benefit you both!
What can they do for a 3 year old who may not be old enough to realise she has a problem? Not being rude at all, I just don't know how counseling will benefit her at this age. I think its a great idea that you go and get some advice on how to answer her questions. Consider counseling when she is older but I wouldn't unless she really needs it. She won't remember her step Dad and Dad has never been in her life so she won't feel as though something is missing. It is much harder when there has been an emotional bond broken later in childhood but at that age i think she will be fine.
Without a doubt, yes she should see someone.
He fucking bit her?!?!
I took it that it was the **step brother ** who bit her.
Though still NOT good
I took it that it was the **step brother ** who bit her.
Though still NOT good