I am an art teacher and have a wonderfully talented young student, and I mean talented!
Whenever we work on a major artwork of hers, when she takes it home to show her parents, her Dad ALWAYS says something negative about her work. It makes me feel so sorry for her.
My parents were so supportive of me as an artist and I decided to teach art so I could be the postive force in a child's life.
I almost feel like I am being criticised too, I've guided her, corrected work and supervised her art. I understand constructive criticism, however this student is young and the criticism is not constructive.
I almost want to have chat with her Mother about the negative talk, but I know it's not my place. I want to build up her self esteem.
Any advice or others who have experienced the same thing?
10 Replies
Actually I think you can bring it up with the parents. Parent teacher interview or call them in for a chat about her progress. Talk about how you (collectively) can help her move forward with her art.
Could you send a letter home as an update letting the parents know how well she is going and that she has quite advanced skills and you're looking forward to seeing what works she comes up with through the year? Talk her up. He sounds like one of those negative nancys so a letter from a professional like yourself saying how good she is may be enough for him to zip it. If not then I would probably find a way for her to not send work home, display it at school or keep it in a store room where her confidence can't be crushed. Some parents are just sad.
Have a chat with the father! Let him know it's not constructive and you we're hoping he would choose to say something positive. That the child would surely be hoping.
It's unfortunate but all you can do is be you, and the child will have you.
Is there parent teacher interviews coming up? I wonder if you could bring it up with the parents without directly accusing the father of being critical. For eg "you daughter is so extremely talented and I truely believe if we all continue to encourage her in a positive way she will go far with her art!"
Or if you can put a generlised letter in the school newsletter about the importance of positive encouragement for young artists and the benefits of building them up and hope they read it!
Or of your not teaching within a school system, send generalised letters home with the kids titled "how to help your budding artist at home" and talk about positive feedback on artwork and the importance of encouragement.
My sister is like this, her daughter is talented in art. Not the brainy things like English, science and maths. She thinks her daughter does a lovely job and is great at it but wishes her daughter would be better at the other things instead. She pushes the big subjects so hard and tells her art comes last. That it’s not a skill she’ll be able to rely on and that she needs to work harder in other subjects. I see her art and tell her how talented she is and that she needs to keep working on it as it’s what she is good at. Some parents don’t see the benefit of art and they really should. My friends son made this rocket picture in kindy, he took it home and his dad told him it looked like a glittery penis and a set of shiny balls all he needed to add was some pubes. That it was a shit rocket. Some people are so set in their ways they will never listen to you. Nor take your advice on board. He’s the kind of guy you don’t want to approach. Instead approach the mum and see what she says. If you get the same vibe from her just keep doing what your doing and encouraging the child to keep going with it. Your words will mean the world to them and be a favourite teacher in years to come!!
Some parents are just assholes who can never give a child positive comments.
In high school even if I did well at something, it was never good enough.
That has continued on into adulthood.
My advice is encouraging the kid in every way you can - she may need art as a way to survive her Asshole dad in the future.
Sorry to hear your father was a narcissist. Wouldn't wish one of those on anyone.
How do you know what he says? And please don’t speak to the mother about it like everyone is suggesting, why is it up to her to control the father? Speak to him if you speak to anyone!
But seriously, speak to them both, you’ll soon get the vibe of who’s who.
Speak to your boss, colleagues, ask them for advice
100 bucks that father is a Narcissist. They are perpetually jealous individuals ( YES, even of their own children ) and hate it when people are 'better" than them. They are critical, negative and horrible to live with. Feel so sorry for her and the mother because !!!
Ask the student if sometimes she feels like she has to tip toe around and walk on egg shells at home.... not to "upset" him. If the answer is YES he's a dead set Narcissistic and you should definitely NOT speak to him. He will rage and you will be enemy number one.