Hi all I have a 3 year old boy who is driving me nuts I feel I have tried everything he acts out of he doesn’t get his own way by hitting me or his sibling on numerous occasions he has pushed his sisters head into walls and doors he kicks he hits and spits at us. We have tried naughty corners sending him to his room getting down to his level and speaking to him however when we do this he will hit me in the face I’m a single mum and I feel I’m really struggling we have started daycare however even they are having trouble with him he says things like I don’t like u or I hate u if he gets in trouble at home he will tell me he doesn’t love me and that he wants ‘daddy’ he does see his dad every second weekend and then on school holidays it’s week on week off I love my little boys so much but I feel like I’m failing him as a mother as I don’t know what’s going on I know I don’t get to spend a great deal of time with him as I have a 15 month old as well and I’m currently studying full time however I try make as much time for all of them as possible we do family activities all the time and at least once a day we all hop in the pool and play ball and just hang out but I feel everything I’m doing is not working.
2 Replies
Im going to say all toddlers will say 'I want x' somebody whose not there. It's the benefit of being absent and the shit thing of being the present one. Don't take it personally. You are what he needs. But do hear that that means 'I want a grown up that will love me and be gentle' stop and offer a cuddle.
Do Not let off with the behaviour, but loving and defusing the situation is ok if a cuddle helps.
And then discuss that's it's not ok. If it happens again, you'll go to your room. (Make it only a few minutes and then give cuddles again).
Try your best to give him one on one quality time. Short if that's all you've got, but quality connecting time.
If he's your oldest, know that he will grow out of it.
If you've split recently, he may be needing some extra support to deal with the changes.
This sounds a lot like my son and I just kept doing what I was doing, knew it was just a phase and that it would pass.
He is my harder child. As everything with him is a fight or argument. And he can be aggressive. But I’ve got a daughter who is nothing like it. So I feel like it’s just his temperament and it’s just about coaching and demonstrating how to get past that.