How do I stop feeling like a failure of a mum?
I work in a high stress job and over the break i have time off and got to spend 3 great weeks with my daughter and step daughter.
The first week back at school was great, I premade healthy snacks for lunches, I was on top of the housework and all round completely motivated.
However I have returned to work and the dishes are piling up, the reader hasnt been read all weekend. Its sunday night and my daughter has to wear her dress to school (which she hates atm) because I didnt do the washing over the weekend. My daughter will be back to prepackaged snacks because I haven't made anything.
How do I excel in a job that I love and be the mum that has time to read the readers and make snacks for school.
How do I make time for me but also be everything my kids need me to be.
How have we become a world where we have to work like we dont have kids but also raise our kids like we dont have full time jobs
Send help to this already stressed out mum!
8 Replies
Here is the truth, is not possible with out a lot of help!
Seriously, it’s not.
If your daughter wants the right uniform, she can wash it. It takes 10 minutes to teach a child to use a washing machine. That’s time saved every single weekend and a great skill for kids to learn. My boy is severe intellectually disabled and has been able to put a load on since he was 5. So unless there is something going on with your daughter she can learn.
Can the kids make the snacks? But seriously, bought ones are fine!
OP hasn't said how old her kids are and I assume you have a front loader
My parents had a top loader and I managed to put loads of washing on at 5. It was tough but I was a determined child
I have 2 kids. One in kindy, one in daycare.
I bake snacks on the weekend.
I get home at 6, hubby gets home earlier and unloads lunchboxes/bottles when he gets home and makes dinner for the kids.
When I get home I bath baby and put to bed.
We do homereader after baby is asleep, then shower, pjs and relax time. Kindy child goes to bed at 8. She should be in bed earlier but I wouldn't get homereading done then.
Its all rather hectic and stressful the minute i get home but so far we are getting everything done.
Washing is done on wednesday night and on saturday.
Thursday put away as much washing as i can.
I make lunches on Sunday for monday and tuesday.
On tuesday i make lunches for Wednesday and thursday.
It all stays in fridge to pack in the morning.
Friday is an order from the canteen.
I lower my expectations too. I try to do as much as I can but sometimes i cant do it all.
I tidy up at 9pm, not full on cleaning just a quick tidy up.
I clean on Saturday or Sunday.
We have one day on the weekend dedicated for family activities so if i clean on Saturday we go out on Sunday.
I flop to bed at 10 exhausted!!
Its a crazy way to live, i find it so hard and stressful.
Assuming there’s another adult/parent living in the household, get him/her to do their share?
Get domestic assistance
Have kids do their own stuff, make a jobs list, prepare them for life
Household checklist for Sunday nights
Routines routines routines
Frozen meals
Bulk cooking/baking/freezing
Agreed
Other adult needs to help out and if both are full time workers maybe one or both reduce hours to have a bit more time.
It sucks, you may not hit your financial goals as quick as you’d like but it’s a choice verses consequence situation.
Honestly I think it's not it possible. I think women gave been lied to saying we can have it all. Being a mum is a full time job in itself, spending time away from that "job" has conciquences. You have a decision to make what is more important, the benefits of working or the benefits of being home.
Do you have a partner? If you're a single parent you're doing so well, and you can only do what you can do, but if you're not, I'm not sure why this is all in you? Dishes reading, washing, they are all tasks for any adult. Maybe you are expecting to much of yourself and your partner if you have one isn't sharing the load?