I need so advice?! Sorry it's long need a rant too
My sister just moved back home last week. She's been traveling for the past 3 years. She's lived in Cambodia India Nepal. All those sort of countries.
I'm a Christian with a Christian family. We go to church and we very much respect our morals.
My sister (who was baptized 6 years ago) is now Hindi.
When arriving home she put a peice of string around mine my daughter and my other family members wrist and sung a song and blessed it. She told us that it would now keep us safe. I soon took it off a few days later as it was wet and itchy. She got so mad and said i didn't respect her. I'm not just talking being up set i mean a full on screaming madness.
She then got out her god and hung it on the wall. My mother nearly fell over. When my grandma came round the other day she cried. It was awful. She was so up set this god was in our house. My sister refused to take it down. We then all got into a religious fight. She lights scents and blesses it on the wall in the family room and waves them around the house. The fight got very heated.
2 mornings ago she placed her Budda she was wearing around her neck on my daughters neck and told her that he will protect her that he is the real god and Jesus doesn't exist there is only one good which is every god. This really up set me as my daughter loves God.
I feel like she is disrespecting my mother's house?
This is one issue I'm not sure about.
Wednesday night she went out and didn't come home.
She arrived home the next day slept all day. When waking her eyes were blood shot and she was shaking like crazy. I'm sure she's back on LSD again. She use to take this all the time. And over seas too.
Come Saturday she was so aggressive so scary. She pushed my mother over as she wanted to use my mum's 12 man tent to live at her friends for a few nights. This tent is under neather about 60 of my moving boxes that I have in the storage shed out the back. My mum told her she can't have it. It's my grandpas and she's always taken care of it it's sentimental to her as his past now. She went out side and climbed on all the boxes cracking the craits. She continued to throw the boxes telling me that they arnt mine as I won't have them when I die in heaven and that all this materialistic shit could feed so many kids. She smashed what was in those boxes.
She was screaming at us so out of control.
When coming in side she walked past me and told me I was a descrase for spending money on that sort of shit (reffuring to my house contents) she then spat on me and said shame on you. I still feel sick about it. I had spit all over my arm and face. My 3 year old witnessing all this. Asking why my sister spat on me.
I was on my way out to a wedding Saturday. When getting into the car she said to my daughter look at mummy wearing all that she's letting kids starve let's laugh at her. She and my daughter laughed at me!
She's got so aggressive again today. Screaming pulling her hair just bezar behavior. Yelling so all the neighbors could here. Again going into the shed trying to get to the tent. I don't know why she wants that tent so badly. She's told us she's burning the shead down tonight to get to it.
She smokes and she picks my daughter up while she's doing this. She loves to shit stir and do what she can to make us mad. (She's always been like this since she was a child) we had an actual tugowar with my daughter because I didn't want her near the smoke. My sister saying all the Indian kids are fine with passive smoking (She has asthma) today she is coughing bad.
Every time she smokes she does it out side my room. So many arguments to get her to move somewhere else but she continues. My room is now starting to smell.
A few years back she was on ice she ended up smashing the windows in the house and egging the cars. I'm scared she's going to do something the same again. Only this time i have a child living here.
My brother has a well payed job and just bought him self a new car. Every time she sees him she sings money money money the Abba song. Called him a wicked man. Just little things like that. She will push and push to you crack then start to bless us telling us to calm down and find inner peace. I think she's a little bit loco.
Right now as I'm trying to get away from her she's all happy back to her self. Asking me if I need help with job searching. Talking calmly. As if nothing has happened.I can't move on from her spitting on me and telling my daughter to laugh at me.
Around lunch time today she was talking to my dad on the phone crying very hysterical. Saying she's scared living here and we are so awful and not a family. She tried to tell my dad I'm negligenting my daughter and she didn't think she would see someone in Australia treating their child like someone would in a country she has visited. She was crying as she said this said how worried she was about her and me being her mother. Said I won't hug her that I don't show her love (I had hot hair curlers in and a hair straightener in my hand when I said i couldn't hug her yet when she asked me for one, I didn't want to burn her) I was so mad. My dad saying he had no idea I was like that! My dad believed her for a second. I'm a single mum no child support no support from her father. I struggle don't get me wrong. But my daughter is the love of my life. I feel like I didn't need to be bashed like that by my sister to my dad. She tried to say I smashed her head into the wall when shopping the other day. I was holding her and she was fighting me. We were in a change room and she knocked her head. She rubbed it and laughed. Everything that happens she twists.
She has a boyfriend and Indian man been with him for 2 months. Wants to save 10k to get him to Australia. She talks to him on Skype. One day i was looking for my daughter. I asked my sister where she was. She told me she was on Skype talking to her boyfriend! I nearly died!!
She has secretly given my daughter lollies my daughter told me 2 nights ago. She was up to 12 that night on a high. (She's seeing a pediatrician for ADHD, ASD) this is the last thing I give her. My sister said ADHD doesn't exist that it's a man made disease and I should lable her and let her live which is having lollies.
She's told her cordial is magic water and went to give her some. My daughter always thought this was my other sisters alcohol. Today she wanted some and had a tantrum to have some. My sister sitting there smiling to her self. It's an ongoing battle now.
She's not respecting my rights as a mum and going against what I do and believe.
But now she's so calm. I can't keep up with these sudden mood swings. It's doing my head in and my daughters. One minute she's screaming spitting on me scratching at her self the next she singing to her.
It's only been a week and I'm already at my whitts end. She leaving again in July but I don't think I can last to then.
Any advice on what to do would be great.
My mother won't ask her to leave. I don't have the finance to move out (I only arrived back here 5 months ago due to debt).
I'm at a loss. I left a DV relationship and feel like I'm back in one.
Argh I'm so frustrated that someones behavior like this is actually real.
15 Replies
Next time she acts out call 000 and tell them you need help as your family member is having a psychotic episode, she will be taken to hospital for a mental health assessment which iswhat she needs. She needs help, what you're describing is serious behaviour and she needs real help. Good luck and I would consider finding your own place asap.
First of all don’t argue over religion
Religion is like penises Greta to have one and to be proud but don’t wave it in each other faces. You both have separate religions great, respect each other and learn about her new one
Sit her down and discuss things like an adult. Talk about how the behaviour of giving your daughter lollies and cordial isn’t ok, and why you don’t want you daughter talking to her bf on Skype.
She needs a mental health assessment ASAP, she’s also probably on drugs and needs rehab. These are all very serious issues. As for the religion, a Buddha makes your grandmother cry, goodness, religion is the last thing you all should be worried about. I agree with other poster, next time she’s goes off, call an ambulance, don’t let her see you do it or she might do a runner.
I stopped reading half way. It’s pretty clear she’s doing drugs and has mental health issues. Remove yourself and your daughter from this dangerous situation.
I really think you need to take the religion aspect out of this, particularly when everyone is living under one roof. If she wants to wave incense sticks around and give a gift to you or your daughter, accept it and smile. Religion is a choice and either of your faiths really are irrelevant to these main issues.
The safest thing for you and your daughter would be to not be around her any longer, can you go and live with another family member temporarily? She obviously needs psychiatric help which can take a long time for her to come to the realisation and acceptance. My sibling was very much the same and it took us years to finally get her willing to go to rehab and get her life on track.
As an atheist, I think you're all being absolutely ludicrous about the religious aspects and that's all I'm going to say on that matter!
To be entirely blunt, you have 2 choices.
1. You stay and you put up with it - essentially exposing your daughter to someone who's mentally ill and using drugs. Your parents are unwilling to address her behavior so this isn't going to go away.
2. You move out! Sorry, bout to be blunt again, but finances are a poor excuse to stick around.
You should be bringing in an income, either from work or single parent welfare payments, possibly both.
You could rent a small, one bedroom apartment temporarily, you could apply for government housing. If you didn't have parents to go home to, you would've had to sort something out wouldn't you?
There are options but you're going to have to be a bit more self sufficient.
Your sisters behaviour is off the chain, absolutely no doubt about that but you can only control what you do about your situation.
Religion aside, it sounds like your sister has some major mental health issues and/or is on drugs!.
This isn't the kind of behaviour you want your daughter exposed to and I'd be concerned about it being a safety issue!
Have your parents buried their heads in the sand about the issues that are obvious? Or are they at a loss of what to do about her concerning behaviours?
She may have bipolar and is having manic episodes. I think when she starts losing control next time, call 000.
This is not a religion issue. This is a mental health issue. Understand that she is unwell and do not argue with her about religion. I am a Christian so I can understand how offensive it was for your sister to tell your daughter Jesus isn't real. She had no right to do that, but I do not think she is thinking rationally from what you have said.
Her obsession with her new foubd religion is a symptom of her illness!
So true, when I start to find god, I know I’m slipping lol
Religion is about personal faith. Accept you aren't the same and be respectful of each other. Hinduism is from a broad range of philosophies and dharna is a way of life more than a religion... So it's kind of like comparing apples with oranges... So leave it be. It sounds like she's psychologically unstable though, so don't focus on arguing about other things. Support her and slowly get her help (when she's open to it). Also, my kids are adhd and asd as well. Sugar isn't going to kill them. Maybe ask she doesn't give it to them nicely when she's receptive. Better than getting angry and having her dig her heals in.
Maybe she should go back to where she came from if it was so much better.
Call 000.
Religion aside because that's a tiny thing compared to everything else you have written. You need to call 000 everytime she looses it. Get an Avo out and she won't be able to come near you. You also need to speak to your mum and explain you know she loves her but she is affecting and hurting the whole family. Take a stand together.
Your daughter needs to be away from her. You need to just take her away everytime.
Pick your daughter up walk away and ring the police.
I would be calling the police.
Go into a station and ask to speak with someone, and get some information on where to go to from here.
I didn't read all of it because it was pretty clear what was going on. You need professional help, whether that is police, mental health, medical etc. Not something you or your family can do alone.
I didn't read it all.
You all need to sit down with a couseller. She needs an intervention.
Remove religion from this scenario and work on your family
I'm sorry to hear of the awful situation you've found yourself in. However there is support out there to help you remove yourself from the situation.
Aside from your sister, what I heard was that you've escaped domestic violence and do not have a safe place for you and your daughter. I also heard that you are looking for work, and that you are essentially homeless (if you're staying with family or friends you are essentially still homeless).
There are organizations funded by Government to help people in these types of situations.
You should be able to access support to secure safe, affordable accommodation for you and your daughter. Assistance to set yourself up may be available. Additionally, you can receive case management where you set out your goals, such as finding a job and your case manager may be able to assist/link you in to training, assistance with your CV and support finding work.
Your sister does sound really unwell, but first comes you and your daughter. DV, no matter who the perpetrator is or whether it's due to mental health issues, will leave a lasting impact on your little girl. So first thing, find out who your locally funded service is and go and see them.
If you aren't sure which one, the services themselves will know who is funded for what, so approach any and they will be able to link you in with the most appropriate support.
Once you and your little girl are safe you can see about support for your sister.