I'm 25 it's not that old but I feel like I'm getting left behind in life.
I was the first of my friends to move in with my partner the first of my friends to have a baby and I almost bought a house. I used my deposit on moving over seas with mg now ex. Biggest mistake I ever made. I would be set now if I bought the house i was going to.
My ex was an abuser he changed when we came back to Australia. I left when I was pregnant. He isn't in my daughters life.
So now here I am at 25 back at home with my mum and sisters I don't work I'm on centerlink. I feel like a loser compared to all my friends. My daughter is going to behavioral classes, we are attending parenting course and my daughter is seeing OTs and a pediatrician. i also see a counselor once a week. Life is busy. All I want is a job and my old carrier back now my daughters almost 3 and a half but how can I work with all the appointments and classes. And I am out looking but no one contacts me further even after interviews it's so depressing.
My best friend of 15 years got married almost 2 years ago now. My kindergarten friend got married a few weeks ago along with jist buying a house. My friend from high school who was with me when I had my daughter just had a baby and is getting married at the end of the year and then trying for another. My other friend I had in my birth is now married with a 2 year old and owns her house and a new business. And my friend I meet in labor now has 2 kids and bought a house last week
Then there is me. Single with 2 failed relationships. Living with my mum as I can't afford to live out of home right now jobless.
I know I should be looking at the positives but I just can't Al my friends are so set up and stable. I'm so happy for them I really am I cried when they got married and engaged. But I can't help but feel a little jealous.
Every guy I go on a date with just wants to bang and go. No one seems fo want to settle these days. I'm so out of the dating scene but from what I have seen it's weird. Go to a nice dinner movie walk what ever it is then then ask you back to theirs have sex and that's it.. I've only given in twice over the year when they ask now I say no and still never hear anything.
I'm trying to save every dollar I can while I'm back home but it's only $60 a week but to me that's better than nothing.
Do you think life can get better. I want another child so bad. I hate my daughter growing up alone with no siblings or cousins even. I would of been lost if I didn't have my cousins and siblings. I have ALOT.
How can life go from almost being set to back down the bottom only worst single mum and scard of what lies ahead.
8 Replies
First of all don’t have anymore kids till your working again and can afford it
Try jobs that aren’t your dream career like working at maccas or in retail or in a cafe. Or even try up skilling by doing a course
Life will get better. I've been where you are. Except I'm closer to 40. Its scary, but at some point you need to make the choice to take that stress off yourself, give yourself credit. Credit for everything you've been through, everything you are juggling and managing and doing right now, and you have to live to take the stress off and make life enjoyable while you're living it, if that's focusing on smaller, more fun, or shorter term goals right now then that's ok.
You know life isn't some kind of deadline to see who can achieve the most by 25?
We're all running our own race!
You're overwhelmed because you have hopes and dreams and you want them all right now. Life just doesn't work like that unfortunately!
You need to set yourself up with a plan and some realistic goals, you'll begin to feel much more productive (and I'm going to be honest with you, going out and having a baby shouldn't be high up on your priority list right now).
I say this from experience - sitting around wallowing in self pitty because of the shitty hand life dealt you doesn't help, it makes you feel worse!
You also need to stop being so hard on yourself. Being an only child is far from the worst thing in the world, in fact it's probably for the best at the moment so she has your full undivided attention so you can help her with her therapies etc.
Again, being a single mum on centrelink payments and living at home is hardly terrible either, you have live in support that your friends would probably kill for.
Focus on your race and stop worrying about other people's because don't forget, you're an outsider looking in, things often look very different from their perspective!
You may feel behind now, but there are times in life where things don’t go to plan for most people and at some point most people have there ‘left behind’ moment.
The death of a partner, a serious health scare, disability, bankruptcy, divorce.
Most people have that time in there life where they get left behind.
Life unfortunately isn’t a straight line for the vast majority it looks more like the lights from the Christmas tree before you un tangle them.
Making mistakes isn't the end of the world, not learning from them is a problem though. For every step back work out why it happened and put a plan in place to avoid it happening again, won't work all the time but it works enough to be worth the effort.
25 is fuck all. At 25 I had a quarter life crisis. I had a 4 year old son, no job or qualifications, living in a small cottage with no heating or cooling - or even floors that met walls properly and my mental health was in the toilet.
I'm 40 now, back when I took the first menial job I could get I worked up to management so now have the career, the new house, new car. It can and does happen, the sooner you get onto that the better because it doesn't just happen - you have to make it happen.
Stop focussing on fuck heads. Stop looking, take what comes your way so if it happens with a guy it happens but that is sooo not your priority right now. And neither is a kid. You say your friends are all having kids? Get around there for your daughter to play!!! Sort out what you're not happy with and then worry about a bloke because while you're in this frame of mind it's the same fuck heads that are attracted to that because they know you're there to be used. Get smarter, get stronger and get wiser. It's in you, just got to stop doing what you've always done so you can get a different result mate.
I’ve no advice, but I just want to say, I get it
Read some inspiring and motivating books, this has helped me in my life. After reading The Barefoot Investor I am on a mission to study and get a higher paying job and save for a house.
The Barefoot Investor
The subtle art of not giving a f...
Start with why
Mindset
The five love languages
The universe has your back
Too many to name, I could go on and on. There are lots of books out there that are life changing
Happy reading 📖
I found happiness when i stopped comparing, i am 37 and only learned in the last couple of years.