Sleepovers?
So back in the 90s when we were kids/tweens we had the odd sleepover for special occasions eg maybe 10th birthday or 13th birthday I think we occasionally had the odd just because sleep over at that age.
Fast forward to now. I have a 7 year old and a 6 year old and I feel like the minority but playdates are a now a frequent request like every single day after school and playdates are a school holiday given. Why? And how do people do playdates plus a sleepover at this age? I'm currently in the thick of one with my own two kids (6&7) plus their friends (8&6) and tbh it's shit! We're exhausted we've had enough and the dynamics just aren't working. Is this standard for the age group? Is this why we should wait? Why do other parents put themselves through sleepovers at this age? Can't these things wait until the kids are ready and the parents can cope? Why must they grow up so fast? How can U not be the arsehole in this situation coz everyone else is hosting these sleepovers?
Sleepovers
Sleepovers
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
10 Replies
My parents never hosted a sleepover 🤷‍♀️ No one cared
And there was only one girl in the class who’s house I was allowed to sleep over
Don't do it if it kills you.
We do it because I love when they're gone. It is more work when theyre here but alao fun
It goes both ways. We also don't do craziness, they have fun but also go to bed as usual (perhaps a little later or a movie night etc) but they have to shut up and if they don't sleep it wouldn't happen again, it's not a free for all.
I don’t host sleepovers (outside necessities and family visits) and I am extremely cautious about who I allow my children to stay with. Never at the ages you are referring to.
I think you need to do what feels comfortable to you. When I think back to my childhood my first sleepover at my house was when I was about 6 (one friend) and my first sleepover at a friend’s house was about when I was 7 (only me). From about 8 onwards sleepovers in a group were quite common.
In saying that my daughter turns 6 this year and there is no way I feel she is ready to go to a friends house for a sleepover nor do I feel comfortable in having one of her friends over and the responsibility it requires.
If you are comfortable with doing this then go ahead but if you are not, then don’t. Your role is to be their parent and provide them with the tools to become a successful adult. A big part of that is modelling this behaviour to them. So if you don’t feel comfortable with this/it would impact your mood or patience etc then you are modelling that you do something you are comfortable with. They may think you are an arsehole but you’re the parent and you make the decisions not them!
You don’t have to say yes. You don’t have to feel guilty for saying no. Do what you can handle and enjoy.
Say no to the constant playdate requests. I had the same problem last year and it just disrupts the afternoons. I would say "not today but xxxx can come over next week on wednesday. Don't ask again this week."
And sleep overs happen ONCE in the school holidays. You don't have to say yes every time and often i found myself telling my kids at school drop off no friends after school!
I grew up in the 90s, things were just way more free range back then.
I was always out playing with the neighbourhood kids, the girl down the street played at my house regularly and as I got older my best friend and I were at one another's house every day, sleepovers were had most weekends too.
The thing is, back in those days we were expected to leave our parents alone and entertain ourselves. I've noticed with a lot of my kids friends that they need constant stimulation, they don't know how to go off and play without some sort of adult structure or assistance. It's a bit sad actually, and I find it quite exhausting too so I usually reserve play dates for the school holidays and I don't host sleepovers (but that's a practicality issue).
Some people like having kids over all the time, some don't. You aren't obligated either way so if it doesn't suit you, put your foot down!
I don't really understand the issue? I won't let my kids go somewhere I don't know the parents.... But if I trust the parents, I have no issue and just say yes or no based on what's happening in our lives and how my kids are coping in general. I have no issue hosting a sleep over either I just accept bed time vs sleep time may vary slightly so I prefer Friday night if during the school term.
I'm not really seeing it either!
Of course kids want to hang out with their friends in the holidays, they're developing their social skills hugely at this age.
Of course they're going to pester for play dates and sleepovers after school - that's what kids do lol, i can remember doing the same thing to my mum 20 years ago!
If it doesn't suit that particular day/time, say no obviously, but play dates are important to a child so you do need to oblige sometimes.
Damn .. I WISH my kids were involved or invited to play dates & sleepovers!! :'(