I'm a 29yr old, married, mum of four amazing children!
I want another baby so very badly but hubby isn't on board. Lately he seems to be coming round to the idea problem is he had a vasectomy about 3yrs ago. Also recently I had an operation to remove my left ovary and Fallopian tube, so my chances of falling pregnant are decreased already. I guess what I'm asking is has anyone been in this predicament before If so how did you move forward. Also what are people's experiences with vasectomy reversal and falling pregnant post reversal?
Wanting another baby
Wanting another baby
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
13 Replies
If your partner is not on board I think you need to respect that and leave it be. He wouldn't have had a vasectomy if he wanted more kids, you risk bringing a resented child into the world if you push for this.
That wasn’t the question. She asked for other people’s experiences your answer is invalid. Next!
Personally, I would take everything as a sign that you guys are just not made to have anymore kids. BUT each to their own.
Is he coming round to the idea because you keep pushing for it or because he’s taken time to think about it and generally wants another one?
I don’t know much about vasectomy reversals so can’t offer any advice in this regard, my mum has her tubes done and reversed and went onto have 5 more child very easily (I understand way easier for women). A friend of mine froze some sperm prior to his vasectomy in case they changed their minds (and they did) and have another child now. So changing minds is what happens to lots of couples as time goes on and current kids grow older.
i really think the best option is to call a place that does reversals and explain the situation to them and get some proper advice.
It might be with your tube issues and his reversal (assuming you go that path) that fertility treatment will provide the most successful chance of a pregnancy. Is this a cost you can afford with your current children etc?
Reversals aren’t cheap (that’s my understanding) and if naturally falling pregnant becomes a bigger issues and doesn’t happen, you’ll either (a) have spent money to gain no baby or (b) have spent money and need to spend more for fertility support.
I honestly wish you and your husband the best, but make sure he’s fully on board for his own desire of a baby and not just to please you, so that if worst case happens and you need extra fertility support he won’t feel resentful towards you or any future baby.
Counselling to be happy with 4 and accept the cards you've been dealt will help you move forward. Not the advice you want, but probably the most logical way to go.
A vasectomy, removal of left ovary/Fallopian tube, I think the universe is sending you a message, you’re done.
Learn to accept and appreciate what you have, counselling may help you change your focus.
He doesn’t want anymore, he has had the snip. You already have kids appreciate them and move on. Pushing for him to reverse his decision is only going to drive a wedge between the two of you and possibly end your relationship. Then you would only have your kids 50% of the time. Pick your battles
I can offer some advice on vasectomy reversal - it can cost up to $10,000 out of pocket, there’s a month of down time (he’ll need to recover and take time off work), it’s much more complicated than the vasectomy (microsurgery is needed to reverse). But it works!!. I assume your partner is a similar age so the outcome would probably be successful (although I’m not a medical expert), even with your factors considered - you’re young and you’ve had successful pregnancies together .... however it’s a lot to go through physically and financially, so it’s important you both want it. Another option is IVF - again expensive. It might be worth getting some counseling together.
The vasectomy reversal is expensive or you can choose the IVF path immediately.. but still, either way expensive. And then given your recent removals, there's a high chance of IVF being needed.
It's an expensive and really fucking emotional path that I don't wish upon anyone, it's isolating and clinical.. you deal with a lot of sadness.
I think be content with what you have, the world is lining up that you shouldn't have another.
SHE DIDNT ASK YOU ALL TO JUDGE HER AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A SELIFISH B$&CH, SHE ASKED FOR OTHER PEOPLES EXPERIENCE. Keep to the question instead of feeding your arsehole egos like a pig who hasn’t been fed for days, quick let’s make some feel like shit cause we feel like shit. Grow up you could all hurt someone you don’t even know.
You’re doing quite the same though
There has been lots of helpful advice given to her. But your post it’s the only one that is out of line and uncalled for. You sounds like a right cunt and actually full fucking crazy.
Husband came around d to the idea, but unfortunately by then it was too late and numerous fertility issues stopped us from being able to conceive