Separated.Mother of 2 and one on the way.Stay at home mum.Kids father FIFO worker.He works 7days on and has 7days of which he has one day to sleep and another to do as he pleases so that makes it 5 days with his children a fortnight.I pay my own rent/bills/Feed my children/pay my daughter's school fees/pay for Daycare on the days my son wants to play with his friends.I cancelled child support because I got accused by the ex partner family of stealing from him because they believe he has always looked after the kids which is far from the truth as it's only been the passed 3months he has had the kids this much.we were toxic towards one another and if I'm not living with him or as he says being a team player than I get called unstable for wanting to go our own way.I cannot find a job that fits in around his work lifestyle without being out of pocket and I recently had a job which I got fired from because he was meant to have the kids and instead of having them went shopping.i cannot go out because apparently I am not deserving of that because I do not work and he works very hard.And to add to it I recently have been diagnosed with Thyroid disease which gives me flaky skin/dandruff, I have a slow heart rate which is dangerous, hair loss etc and I'm just feeling like I have no support as I moved to Qld so the kids can be near their father but I literally have no friends or family here.Am I wrong to want to move back home? Would I be ruining my children's lives if I chose to move home as there are more opportunities for the kids in Qld than my hometown? Is it worth me losing my mentality and feeling so alone for the kids sake?Is anyone else going through this? And if I move back home the ex said he will follow so he can be around the kids but I know I'm going to have to put up with violence and nasty calls/messages and have his family rock up looking for a fight if I don't do as the kids dad wants.HELP! Is this lifestyle fsir on me or should I just do as I'm told and work around his lifestyle?
Stay or Go? is it Fair or Unfair?
Stay or Go? is it Fair or Unfair?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy
3 Replies
Try making some changes there first because if it could work out that would be best for the kids. Both parents. He's not absent. Sure he's a pain, but he's far from absent to them.
First of all, you cut off collecting child support to please people that don't care for you and to spite yourself. Get collecting that again. Also get a plan in place so that every time he breeches it that all goes in your favour for reasons to need to move.
And since he and his family are in your business, regardless of where you live you can cut them off. Zero contact. Go to police if they continue. Once you're free of all of the drama and pull they have on you, you will be able to do well no matter where you are.
I went through the child support bullying from my ex and his family. It was horrible and I didn't collect for 3 years because of it. Then I thought fuck them all, it's my kids missing out on me because of this. I was working 3 jobs to make ends meet just so I didn't have to claim child support. So one day I changed it to CSA collect and cut contact with all of them. As a result they cut contact with my kids. Sad but if money is more important to them than their grandkids/neices and nephew then I don't want them around my kids anyway. As for staying in Queensland - I think you should make it work as long as he is going to be an active part of their lives. Happy kids beats anything else hands down. Best of luck, don't let them bully you into anything.
Time to get tough and do what is right for you and stop letting your ex dictate to you! You listen far too much to him and do as you are told. Cut it out and block the contact with him unless it is about the kids only then you do not have to listen to him. Stop feeling guilty.