What would you do if your partner has the idea of you naming the girl if the time has come and he names the boy?
I think both should be on the same Page and I just had another chat to him and his choice for a boy is the name of himself and his dad has also the same name. I said if the boy could at least have a middle name to differ from himself and the dad. But he won't budge. What would your opinion be? The name is very very old like 'warren'. Not happy, it may turn out to be a girl but I just get very frustrated about the choice
21 Replies
It sounds like he's saying this is very important to him due to the lineage. However, of course, always, its equally important that you like your child's name. I would let him know youll really think on it, and also ask to him really think on what he's asking from you and to think of a compromise as you both need to be happy
Don’t argue until you give birth. Get them when they are weak.
You def should not name a child a name you don’t like.
Remind him regardless the kids get your surname..
Jesus you make it sound like a business deal. OP mentioned nothing about surnames either
Don’t argue until you give birth. Get them when they are weak.
You def should not name a child a name you don’t like.
Remind him regardless the kids get your surname..
You both choose the names end of story
We’ve always agreed on a name together. I wouldn’t be happy to name my child a name I didn’t like (and there’s lots of them). Although we didn’t name any child after a family member we did give our eldest son his dads first name as a middle name, and my grandfathers middle name as our youngest sons middle name. I believe that a child should have an individual name as a first name and not a shared family first name. But that’s just me :)
We kind of did this. But the other had to agree at the end of the day too. Obviously.
I'd tell him you're going to call the girl "pippy long bottom" or something and he has NO SAY... how does he feel about that?
Exactly this. He's hedging his bets in case he wins he will force it on you but if he loses he would call it off 100%.
Are you having a n 18 week scan? Say you don't want to be told the gender and get your obstetrician to check in your next appointment with him. Then you will know if this is even an issue. Might save you a fight
I kinda feel like each party has the right to vito names they don't like or traditions they don't want to follow.
When i was pregnant with my boy i straight up told my partner he wasn't going to be a "juniour", because A) I think kids should be afforded their own individual identity and B) It's not a name I'd have picked in a million years (also a kind of daggy name but ironically i quite like Warren 😂).
I Wasn't going through 9 months of pregnancy and hours of excruciating labor only to name him after my fucking father in law because 'tradition' 😂😂
Aside from that, we were both equally involved in name choices for each 3 kids, it took compromise though!
Refuse. You either choose a name together or he can be nameless until you both agree on one together. His parents wanted to name him after his dad. You don't
Also remember, for some people the naming can seem hugely important- whether it's first or last, so they go hard for what they want, but actually, down the line, it's not that important. They have the ability to be happy with somethinf else. Name regret is real, but that doesn't mean there's only one choice, it means you both have to be flexible and agree on somethinf you're both happy with, or at least neither is unhappy with to please the other - that's where regret comes from.
It’s definitely a joint decision I think - you cannot name a baby something you do not like. Plus you’ve already argued AND taken the time to post about it so you really don’t like the name!! My husband always caves in the delivery room - 3 x natural deliveries and 1 x Caesar. All are incredibly invasive and painful (and absolutely wonderful at the same time) so he always said it was up to me after what I’d gone through.
Or just tell him if you name him Warren then he can have your surname! That often gets their skills of negotiation and compromise working better!!
You should absolutely both agree on a name. When my partner and I have chosen names, we both listen to each others lists and we would both have "absolutely not" rights if we HATED a name/associated it with someone we knew, and then maybes that could go on the joint list. I "lost" a few names that he really hated and I loved, but so did he. He really didnt like my first choice for our 1st but I asked if we could put it on the maybe list because I really loved it and it meant a lot to me and it ended up growing on him and we used it. You both need to compromise.
He sounds selfish, you get a choice in the name. I wouldn’t allow it. Middle names yes but not first name. Have 2’ middle names instead and agree with a nice name together. Put your foot down and tell him no!!! you will regret it. What if in future you decide to go seperate ways and your child is with a name you aren’t happy with, you are going to hate yourself for allowing it. Stand up to him and say no!! Come to an agreement together!
He sounds selfish, you get a choice in the name. I wouldn’t allow it. Middle names yes but not first name. Have 2’ middle names instead and agree with a nice name together. Put your foot down and tell him no!!! you will regret it. What if in future you decide to go seperate ways and your child is with a name you aren’t happy with, you are going to hate yourself for allowing it. Stand up to him and say no!! Come to an agreement together!
I was supposed to be named after my Mum who had been named after her Mum, who had been named after her Mum...you get the picture 😂. But my Mum hates the name and refused to name her child that so she broke the tradition and named me something completely different, didn't even compromise and give it to me as a middle name. The thing is I actually like the name and the tradition so I named my daughter after her grandmother 😂. I think it's nice to have these traditions but at the same time you don't want to name your child something you don't like, I get that. Do you like any of the nicknames from the name? Or compromise by choosing one name and he chooses the other? Decide amongst yourselves which gets first or second. A lot of people are known mostly by their middle name.
I would just tell him outright that you don’t like it. You’ve got to be honest.
We had a rule that when discussing names either of us could veto the name if we didn’t like it and it was taken off the list.
You will find one you both like. It’s only fair that you are both happy so you don’t live with the resentment.
Feels like I wrote this 4 years ago!
Tread lightly, but firmly.
I waited until after the birth only because we didn’t know the gender and didn’t want to fight for no reason if baby was a girl.
We had a boy, not same name as dad & father in law, but same middle name as dad though. Good luck!
You carry the baby for 9 months in your womb, you get the last day. Baby is already getting his last name. If u r not happy say so.
I hear where you're coming from. To be honest middle names were the only input I got. But I had the privilege of carrying them, birthing etc. Men can't do that so it was important (to me) for my partner to have input into their names.
My eldest child (first marriage) I think his name is ok but still wish it was different.
My other 4 children have names that have been carried down from their fathers family.
My dad has the same name as his dad, so he just calls himself a shortened version of his middle name. He doesn't like his first name but he doesn't resent having it.
I don't think a name makes the person an individual.
I think you both need to be more open to each others opinions and feelings.