Hi IM's,
I have just discovered that I'm pregnant with our 4th (hubby has 2 older, so 6th for him). This wasn't planned but we're obviously well aware of how it happened. I am fighting a battle in my head of what to do because on one hand we really REALLY don't have room for another child in our home. My job is not really pregnancy friendly and there are a lot of things we'd probably have to go without with a 4th child ie. Overseas holidays, private schooling etc. On the other hand, this a sibling for our children and a son or daughter for us, made up of all the same DNA as our current children and there's so much potential for a beautiful future for this child who didn't ask to be here.
I guess what I'm asking is for some advice/insight. Anyone who's been in our situation and what you did ie. Termination or followings through with the pregnancy. How do you make it work? Is there a big jump between 3 and 4 in terms of costs, workload. Please take it easy, I know how stupid we have been.
6 Replies
It’s really 5-6... I guess I’d go by how you cope at the moment? Is it a stretch? Will kids be ok with the sacrifices? Could you terminate?
It’s not really stupid you are in a loving committed relationship! It’s life. Some of us forget to pay a bill, some of us crash a car..
I’m pro choice all the way! Is your family ready to embrace this lil one or are you happy with how you are? Do you want to sacrifice the things you listed?
There really isn’t a right or wrong choice here just your choice!
Good luck mumma x
3-4 is really not a big change at all in terms of workload or cost. Someone can always share a bedroom.
In my opinion, a life outweighs things like private schooling and holidays.
My 4th child is now 10 and I’m so very glad he exists. He’s sweet and cuddly and everything that is good in little boys
We had a surprise 5th preg. We had to move our two children from a private school, to a another as we could not afford the current lifestyle with another baby. Holidays will be less often, but we can fun at home and other free places and events. It's not the end of the world because lifestyle changes have to be made. We are glad we are kept our bonus baby, but partner went and got the snip cause he absolutely does not want to risk another surprise. It's a personal choice overall, but certianly not the end of the world. I actually prefer where we are now. Since we have cut back on costs, we are actually less stressed financially lol!
You just make it work, everything falls into place. Once you hold your beautiful little bundle in your arms, you will wonder how you ever questioned it. It’s a precious gift that is obviously meant to be. Take it as it comes, everything will work out once the baby arrives.
Our 4th is now 11 months old. His sisters all absolutely love & adore him. I have days when I'm exhausted and wonder why on earth we did it again lol. But they don't stay little forever! Honestly we couldn't imagine our lives without him now!!! Financially it hasn't been too much harder and we live off only 1 wage.
Definitely no regrets! I say go for it mumma! Another little babe for you all to love & treasure xx
I have rencently had the same battle. I chose not to go ahead right now. I have 3 kids. 2 to my ex and 1 to my current partner. My partner was happy but also supportive and understanding that it isn’t the right move for our family right now. There is nothing wrong with being “selfish” in this situation. It’s a horrible decision to have to make. But go with your gut and what feels right for you and your family. Whatever decision you make it will be the right one and you will be a peace either way. Also use it as an opportunity weather you go ahead or not to have the discussion and decide if you are “done” having kids. For us it is a case of we are unsure. And that’s okay. But I had no doubts that now was not the time. Don’t research online for the answer. Go to a family planning clinic and speak to a dr about what your options are. Online has some scary shit and it really isn’t that bad. Don’t ask if your kids would be willing to sacrifice. Ask if you are happy and willing to change your current path at this point in time. As above. Whatever you chose to do will be the right decision.