My father passed away several years ago. In the will everything was supposed to be split three ways. This hasn't been the case. Or family property had recently been sold and my mother brought a house. That's fine. Money from that sale should have been split between the three remaining family three ways and it hasn't been. Do I hire a solicitor and fight for what I'm entitled to? Or do I take the 40k I've been told I'm getting and settle for that. I have a family of my own and want to do what's right for them but I'm positive it will cost my relationship with my mother and family. At this point in time I'm so done with her and her controlling ways. I just don't know what to do.
33 Replies
It legally was your Mums house when he passed away, I don't like your chances of getting more than what she's offering.
All money and property should have been left to your mother and divided between siblings once she passed. It’s not your money, you didn’t work for it, save it or sacrifice for it. You are lucky to be getting anything at all. How selfish you would rip apart your family because 40k isn’t enough for you! Grow up!
I wouldn’t fight it. In most families the most property/money goes to the spouse.
I’d be more worried that my mum was well looked after and was comfortable during what must be a very difficult time for her.
40k is a lot of money and a really big leg up in life. I’d thank my lucky stars and be happy my mum is comfortable.
Why would you want to take money off your mum?
Are your parents divorced?
I don’t understand, wouldn’t you want her taken care of without your dad?
Didn’t they build their wealth together?
When she dies, then you guys will get your inheritance.
If she’s giving you all 40k, that’s pretty generous of her.
We’re your parents seperated:divorced when he past?
When your dad passes away it becomes your mums property. Not yours no matter what the will says. It’s her choice. Don’t fight this. There’s a chance you’ll get nothing. When your mum dies her assets get split between her children. If you do this you will miss out because she can write you out of her will just like that. Contesting it will cost you.
No way I’d be contesting it. Unless your parents were separated when your dad passed. You have no leg to stand on!! I would be happy with 40k...
You parents don’t owe you a dam thing. It’s not your money to claim, god this post really shows how selfish people are when it comes to cash hand outs. If you wish to contest it I’m sure you could, you would most likely end up with nothing as the money is your mothers until she passes then it goes to who ever she leave it to. But she can write you out of the will.
Why are you ENTITLED to money to didn’t earn?
It's your Mums money. Why is she even giving you 40k? And why are you being ungrateful for that 40k? That would be a good boost for any family, get rid of debt or a deposit on a house, a holiday to Disneyland. I will gladly have it if it's not good enough for you.
That would be a game changer for us! No car loan.. would free up a sweet chunck if money we could then build up savings for the Disney holiday.
If your Mum doesn't have a lot of super then she will need to live off that for the rest of her life. That's probably why she sold the house, to downsize so she has cash to support herself so her kids don't have to. She shouldn't be giving money to any of you, you'll get her house when she dies what do you want her cash for, let her live her life.
Just personally I'd not be taking 40k off my mum and I'd hope if she had ever had money like that she'd not have given it to my sponging siblings either. If there was any left when she passed then sure I'd fight my siblings for a share of it but I'd rest a lot easier knowing she had it to live off.
Would love to know the relationship of the three remaining to each other and if your mum and dad were still together or hasn't finalised a split.
Why do you think your dad can give away everything that would have been both of theirs?
Done with her controlling ways but happy to take her money though?
Interesting...
Were they no longer together but still jointly owned the house? If so then yes I’d contest because his wishes aren’t being followed. On the other hand if they were still together then no I wouldn’t do anything.
You are probably putting pressure on her on what could be a complex situation. All of the assets would have been considered hers when your Dad passed away. If she's trying to get the pension they look very closely at all assets and savings. You can't gift assets or cash away so that you come in under the threshold that makes you eligible for the pension. If the house was worth a million dollars she probably wouldn't be eligible for the pension even if she had $0 to her name and bought the house 50 years ago. That's why retirees are forced to sell up and downsize so they then have cash to support themselves. You could really be making life hard by insisting on the 40k. I think you should back off, realise there is probably a complex story behind what she has done and why the will has not been honoured, she probably doesn't have a choice in the matter. The government sees it all as hers and she will be left without a way to support herself if she gives it all away.
Principle place of residence is the only asset not considered for aged pension entitlements. Hence people live in their million dollar properties they purchased fifty years ago and still get full pension, which I agree with. Selling her home and having cash will reduce her pension, not the other way around. Yes you are correct, there are rules around gifting, however, distribution of the estate per the will instructions would not be gifting, it would be the deceased giving beneficiaries their entitlements.
It’s okay to not know this stuff, but to give advice when you don’t know this stuff is kind of dangerous and wrong on many levels.
Well I'm going by my inlaws situation who were not eligible for the pension because their assets were too high and had to sell up as they weren't eligible for the pension and needed cash to support themselves. I wasn't implying that by selling you would then be eligible for the pension but that is what some retirees need to do in order to support themselves because they can't get the pension. I have heard of plenty of other stories where this has happened too. I also wasn't giving advice on pensions or assets anyway, I was giving advice to the OP that maybe the situation is a bit more complex than she realises and to back off a bit. It doesn't really change what I was trying to say.
His death makes the house hers, it doesn't matter what the will says you can't give away other people's property in your will.
And that trumps everything...so very true.....
Agree he CANT give it away in his will. It seems very disrespectful that he is 'giving' his wife equal to his kids, doesn't fit with a description of a controlling woman.
If they were still together at the time then just take the money and walk away from it, the money it would cost you to fight it and everything else that goes with it, it’s not worth it. Your dad wouldn’t want that as much as it’s against his wishes he would just want you to be happy.
She is your Mother. She looked after you, fed you, was there for you, looked after your Father and was there with him until his very last breathe and has been left widowed.
Until your Mother passes she is fully entitled to a house, take your 40k and be happy..
My dad passed away 5 years ago, he wasnt 60 yet.
My mum was married to my dad, she is entitled to do what she wants with their things.
No you do not hire a solicitor - gosh this post makes me so angry. It’s your mother, whom is still alive and it’s her right to live the rest of her days comfortably in her house that she bought with money she is entitled to. You however have no right to anything until your mum passes and even then with this kind of attitude I hope she spends it all and you’re left with nothing. Death makes people so greedy. Take the 40k and be thankful you’re even getting that!
Totally depends if they were they were together when he died. As someone who has been through it- I'd say your dad has laid his requests out for a reason and it should be honoured/ upheld. My dad's 3rd wife took everything he had, but her will at his death left everything to us (his 4 kids) when she died. 3 months after he died she changed it and now it all goes to her cousins (she had no kids of her own). So.... 45 years of his hard work will ensure some randoms he didn't know are comfy in retirement. He had wanted his kids and grandkids to benefit from his labor- but that will never happen. If they were seperated will your mum leave everything to her new partner? Then your dad's hard work keeps her new man and his kids comfortable in their old age... all depends on the situation.
Step kids can contest wills! See a lawyer.
When my dad passed, Mum got his stuff, no brainer. When his mum passed and there was inheritance, she got it. It wasn’t ours. When she passes, then we get what may be left.
I think you should be grateful for the $40 grand you’re getting because most people don’t even get that
Even if your parents were separated it seems to me no financial settlement was arranged in regard to shared assets and that is why she is able to be in control of the money. If he is no longer here ownership automatically is hers. Your father can’t give away your mother’s assets.
If your parents were still together I am appalled that you feel entitled to anything at all.
It’s interesting that you say you are tired of her controlling ways yet you know taking legal action will result in a breakdown of any relationship with your family. It seems that everyone else would think you are unreasonable, maybe that should tell you something.
Even if your parents were separated it seems to me no financial settlement was arranged in regard to shared assets and that is why she is able to be in control of the money. If he is no longer here ownership automatically is hers. Your father can’t give away your mother’s assets.
If your parents were still together I am appalled that you feel entitled to anything at all.
It’s interesting that you say you are tired of her controlling ways yet you know taking legal action will result in a breakdown of any relationship with your family. It seems that everyone else would think you are unreasonable, maybe that should tell you something.
First of all I want to say sorry for the loss of your father. Secondly I want to say sorry you have been subjected to such nasty feedback from this question.
I am going through a similar situation and have chosen to walk away with nothing because I’d rather not endure all the nastiness that will come with fighting my mother. As much as it breaks my heart that Dads final wishes will not be met I can’t put myself and my family through that. But my dad didn’t have a great deal left by the end so I guess I’m potentially not giving up as much as you. Only you can decide if it’s worth the battle for you and your family.
To everyone else shame on you. The fucking judgment - even from the I’m team!! Just because you come from a ‘normal’ family where mum and dad were happy and built wealth together and you’d prioritise your mum...doesn’t meant all of us are that lucky. I personally come from an abusive toxic family where my dad worked his arse off for my mum to gamble away all his fortune. His dying wish was for us three kids (and our kids) to get something before my mother wasted it all. Unfortunately because he didn’t have time to do paperwork as needed the house went automatically to my mother. Who didn’t give a shit what dads dying wish was because she already had her heart set on a new house....