I’ve been standing on the edge for soooo very long now waiting and trying to make things better with my relationship, knowing for so long it’s never going to work, but tried so hard for my two girls! 11 years, and I just can no longer do it, I’m heart broken, I’m scared, but can no longer feel like this... just a constant feeling of treading water. Alcoholism is a horrible horrible “thing” to hit a family. My post is a lot to vent, and also to ask advice, I’m sure I’m not the only one that has felt, or gone through this. So for those that have, if you can give me some advice that maybe you wished you’d been given in the circumstances, I’m absolutely petrified to do this alone with my girls, financially, emotionally, mentally. I don’t even know how to go about telling them (11 & 6) both very strong minded, out spoken little girls. How can I help them understand that this is the best thing for everyone, when it’s going to feel like their world is crumbling in on them. I just feel broken not just for me, but for them. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Breaking up your family for happiness
Breaking up your family for happiness
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
4 Replies
They can be as outspoken as they like, but you are your own person and the adult. So you tell them what is going to happen and you stand firm. They don’t know what’s good for them at this age and so as the grown up you make the decision. If you stand firm they will get on board, with some tears. If you make it sound like it’s up for debate, then you are in trouble. They need leadership at this difficult time, so be the leader.
I’m going through this now with a 7yr old in tow. They’ve been amazing and understands way more than I could of ever given them credit for. Alcohol is part of the reason. The fights the tension the egg shells so much. I am so much happier since I made the call to end it. Things have even been better for us as a family unit. Move out day is not far away and I know we’ll all struggle to adjust but I’m trying to keep it civil and calm for the little one. It’ll take time but we’ll rebuild our lives as a seperated family. Good luck Mumma. You have got this.
I’m going through this now with a 7yr old in tow. They’ve been amazing and understands way more than I could of ever given them credit for. Alcohol is part of the reason. The fights the tension the egg shells so much. I am so much happier since I made the call to end it. Things have even been better for us as a family unit. Move out day is not far away and I know we’ll all struggle to adjust but I’m trying to keep it civil and calm for the little one. It’ll take time but we’ll rebuild our lives as a seperated family. Good luck Mumma. You have got this.
I watched my parents stay together for the sake of us kids... It destroyed me
When deciding to leave my husband it went against everything I wanted however after knowing what it did to me I knew I could not be a good mum if I wasn't happy. The kids deserved better. After 18 months of counselling I knew I had to look after me so I could look after the kids otherwise did be no good to anyone.
I don't regret it. Mine were younger but they understood that mummy and daddy couldn't make each other happy anymore. We transitioned so we made the decision but he didn't move out for 3 weeks so the kids had time to adjust to the idea.
Honesty is the best policy with your kids and they must understand it's not their fault but you are doing this so you can be a better mum and give them a happier environment. I have never stopped my kids having time with their dad and always made sure everything we did was for the best for them.
It was hard I can assure you but we did it.