It will be long. I'm living in Poland and here if you have a long term contract, you have a 1 year maternity leave paid 80%. I'm working in Opera House as a make-up artist, hair and wig stylist from Tuesday to Sunday 2pm-10pm. I earn around 2000zl which is really little but I love my job. My baby is 7 months now and I'm just going crazy because I'm not sure what to do when the maternity leave is finishd. My boyfriend works corpo job 8-5. Before baby, we missed each other because of the hours we work but now with a baby I would not like to do this. I have a few options and I would like to ask you what you think I should do or maybe you can Inspire me to think of some other solutions.
1. I'm changing the job for corpo job, same hours as my boyfriend so we can be together as family after work and on weekends but I will be really sad as I love my job and I know I will be unhappy behind the desk. I worked long time to be where I and and I can't imagine just to give it up :-(
We would like to have another baby but I had a CC so I need to wait at least 2 years between births and if I start a new job I feel it is not really nice to try with another pregnancy :-(
2. I will ask to stay longer at home but not paid, try to take some clients at home but be really tight with money and unsure every week if I can contribute something to the family budget. Maybe we can stay like this few more months till baby is 1,5 and than see what to do. It's not really resolving any problems, just posponing but maybe in this time I can feel stronger about any of solutions. Maybe baby can eat more solids and be longer breastfeed. I'm afraid if I don't see my baby long hours, I will loose my milk.
3. I will ask for part time for some time. But I will also earn half. It's really little money plus if I deside to go 3 days a week to work, I will have to find a nanny of a place just for couple of hours from 1-5 so daddy can pick up baby. Than baby will stay with dad till 10:30-11pm. Sounds less scary than full time but still it will be for sure Friday-Sunday because those are the most busy in Opera so family time on weekends only in the morning.
4. I will come back normally to earn the same but I have to find a place for a baby from 1-5 pm and pay for it so probably I will spent what I earn. Baby will stay with dad for 5pm till 11pm, 6 days a week. I will be a single parent in the morning and he in the evening. When I come home he will be sleeping. Also I will not see a lot of my boyfriend :-(
I'm also breastfeeding and I would like to continue so it will be really hard to do so with so many hours without baby close. Lactator is not working for me because I can't pomp as much as I want. My baby never used a bottle or a pacifier. I'm also not sure if I can find some place just for few hours to live my baby since in Poland it's more common to have full time nursery (8am-5pm and they don't want to take babies just for couple of hours). I'm looking already but till now I didn't find nothing. I can't imagine my baby being 8h in the nursery and than with my boyfriend till 11pm and than I can see him only on Monday and mornings on weekend...
I feel bad leaving my boyfriend with baby alone after his work every day. In two it is easier and in one can be challenging. He is great with him and doing everything but it's not really family when we will miss each other so much.
Anyone else was in similar position? What to do :-(
4 Replies
Stay home, pick up some at home work.
You will not be a single parent you’ll just be parenting. Just like your hubby won’t be a single parent he will be parenting. You could always express on your breaks so hubby has something to feed Bub when they are in his care.
Are child care costs in Poland huge? Could you have an Au-Pair who can go to your house from 1-6pm. How much do you earn in a week working from 2pm - 10pm that’s 8 hours a day so 37-40 hours a week. Will you still both get the same days off? You could have a set rate for those 5 hours a day. It’s only 25 hours a week and you could pay them a decent wage and it not take all of your pay.
But this is completly up to you. You are the one who has to decide. You could give up your job and work from home maybe your clientele would prefer it. Maybe not. But working opposite shifts is not the end of the world and it doesn’t have to be forever either. It could help you get ahead in the long run. When you have baby number 2 your care costs will stay pretty similar if you have an Au-pair but double if you use child care.
This is such a personal decision but I can see you are asking for advice as you are torn.
So my advice and what I have done is to take the maximum unpaid leave possible to be able to return to your dream job that you worked hard to achieve.
Your baby is very young and one way to think about it is, what would you look back in 5 or 10 years and regret more - not enough time at home breastfeeding and growing the close bond with baby/heaps of quality time with partner, be present for all the milestones of baby walking, talking etc - or would you regret not working more???
I was very lucky in my teaching job that I could take 7 years total family leave (including a paid maternity time per baby). But after the 7 years I had to return at least one day a week to keep my permanent position.
I have three children so the time went fast and was busier than any job could ever be with being pregnant and having a toddler then newborn, toddler and preschooler..
I don’t regret having so long away from the workforce. Even when I did return it felt a bit soon as my youngest was little and had to spend 2 years going to daycare which I still felt guilty about because the others were at home with me more.
However the time at home was precious and I could focus fully on the children and family life.
That’s my advice and if I could go back I would do it exactly the same.
Hope that helps.
This is such a personal decision but I can see you are asking for advice as you are torn.
So my advice and what I have done is to take the maximum unpaid leave possible to be able to return to your dream job that you worked hard to achieve.
Your baby is very young and one way to think about it is, what would you look back in 5 or 10 years and regret more - not enough time at home breastfeeding and growing the close bond with baby/heaps of quality time with partner, be present for all the milestones of baby walking, talking etc - or would you regret not working more???
I was very lucky in my teaching job that I could take 7 years total family leave (including a paid maternity time per baby). But after the 7 years I had to return at least one day a week to keep my permanent position.
I have three children so the time went fast and was busier than any job could ever be with being pregnant and having a toddler then newborn, toddler and preschooler..
I don’t regret having so long away from the workforce. Even when I did return it felt a bit soon as my youngest was little and had to spend 2 years going to daycare which I still felt guilty about because the others were at home with me more.
However the time at home was precious and I could focus fully on the children and family life.
That’s my advice and if I could go back I would do it exactly the same.
Hope that helps.