Please help!
Our 10 year old daughter is funny, caring and lovable.... except for when she’s not.
Time and time again she speaks nasty, is short tempered, rude and I feel like she is ALWAYS in trouble for her attitude.
I get the pre-puberty attitude, I understand children go through changes, but this has been her for at least 2-3 years.
My husband and I are at our wits end, we’ve tried everything to get through to her explaining that the way she speaks isn’t kind.
Her little sister and older brother also cop it, They only have to touch something of hers and she screams at them. Her brother only has to say one thing and it sets her off.
She can walk into the room and and just snap at one of them for being in the same room.
I’ve tried speaking calmly, I’ve lost my shit, but to be honest she appears to just not care.
She always comes back with ‘what have I done’? ‘I don’t understand’ ’Im always in trouble’
I’ve even heard her speak to her friends rudely as well!
What else can we do please!? We have run out of ideas!
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3 Replies
Record her talking and then teach her to change her tone of voice..
She is saying she doesn’t understand what you are asking of her, because she isn’t understanding that different tones of voice and inflections can make a perfectly polite request sound nasty.
Punishing her isn’t working, because she hasn’t been taught the replacement behaviour. Rather than punish give her the correct tone to mimic.
I used to work with this kid, and what he would say or ask for was perfectly reasonable but everything he said came out as a whinge. It made teachers etc dislike him. With a little bit of speech therapy he was able to learn how to change his tone.
Also, girls are the most under diagnosed gender for ASD, is This something that makes sense for your daughter?
I so could have written this. We are going through the exact same thing with our almost 10yr old daughter.
Last weekend I was at my wit's end, I ended up texting one of the leaders at her school care. ( This lady takes no shit, lays it down straight, she some how seems to calm them get them to settle an regroup them self ). She sat my daughter down an basically said what's going on your mum was that desperate she text me. With a bit of prescient she managed to get through, an was able to give her some techniques for when she's mad, frustrated ext... This week has been a bit better