Other Grandparents contact.
advice/suggestions
have 3 sons (age 15. 19 and 22) they have nothing to do with their father (long store but he has declared he has mentaly buried them)
my issue is I want them to have relationship with their grandparents because I dont want them to regret not having time with them when they pass (healthy for their age as far as I know). I tell them to contact grandparents but are left with the reply "they only contact the 15yr old" "they didnt call or text me for my birthday" "im a adult I choose whom I have in my life" etc. yes sure they are Adults/teen. But its sad for the Grandparents (whom I personally feel could make more effort too)
youngest has high anxiety too so dont need any extra triggers.
any thoughts suggestions
How much do I nag kids to contact other grandparents
How much do I nag kids to contact other grandparents
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt
4 Replies
You don’t.
There son abandoned his children. If the grandparents want a relationship, it’s up to them to prove they are worth your kids time and emotional energy.
Sounds like the kids have a really good understanding of this situation and have decided not to put energy in to people who aren’t putting energy into them.
I wouldn't bother.
If they really wanted a relationship, they would of made more effort when your kids were younger.
I don't blame your kids for not wanting to go out of their way for people who didn't bother with them
It's not about what you want, they are all old enough to make their own choices. I'm not sure why you didn't encourage the relationship when they were much younger but anyway. I also think your kids attitudes stink a bit, it's not about who does what for you or who rings you on your birthday, its about who cares about you. My pop on my Dad's side was never rang me or sent me cards, I hardly ever used to see him as an adult but I knew he cared about me. He would ask my Dad how I'm going and I have great memories of him when I was a kid. I also know he was a lot closer to some of my cousins but I never felt bitter about that. He had over 40 grandkids. I loved him as a Pop and I would never have disrespected him for lack of contact. Maybe you have some bitterness towards your exes family and this has rubbed off onto your children, it usually does come from somewhere.
At the kids age, leave it up to them. Not your problem