Interesting question, we had my partners brother, his gf and their 3 kids stay over on Friday night, when it came time for everyone to have a shower I just assumed they would have packed their own toiletries
However the gf came and asked me for stuff to wash the kids, I didn’t have anything besides the medicated soap I use and normal soap that my partner uses and she was not happy, saying that we should have kid friendly bathroom stuff, and then she asked for stuff for her and her partner to use. I have her a bar of soap but the only shampoo we had was my medicated one which I get on prescription so I said sorry we don’t have any shampoo,
I expected to have to provide towels but toiletries? Even before I had to use medicated stuff I always bought my own, should I have known I had to provide it? I’m not sure if I should make sure I have everything next time or tell them to bring their own?
Edit- they are not homeless, they do this to my in laws as well apparently I found out, they also were surprised we didn’t have nappies for the youngest child, or toothbrushes for them. We currently don’t have children of our own, we are in the process of IVF so that’s why we didn’t have any child friendly stuff
24 Replies
Most people would bring their own but people forget stuff. I always make sure there is enough of everything if I have people staying, no big drama really.
If I were to have guests staying overnight, I'd probably make sure I had some cheap basic toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, body wash, maybe a random can of deodorant). Sometimes it's easier to not travel with this stuff, sometimes it's forgotten to be packed etc. My actually hubby works in a hotel and the amount of barely used toiletries he throws away is phenomenonal, because people either can't take it home on the plane/don't have the luggage space etc.
I have a heap of motel toiletries and visitors use those. Or we use them for camping lol.
If I was staying with family/friends for 1 night, I'd pack a toothbrush, no other toiletries. When people stay at ours, they use our stuff too.
I reckon it's one of those things that is subjective to so many things.
I have skin conditions so I always take my own. I'd never expect someone to have specialty items on hand for my use. If I'm visiting my closest friends I won't take a towel but anyone else I'll have my own. If you guys don't have kids I'd also have expected her to bring something for them to use too.
It's a little battle though, get a cheap kid friendly all in one to keep in the cupboard and the parents can use it too. If she's not happy with that she can bring what they use at home.
I’d never expect to stay at someone’s house and them have products for us to use. If we were just staying 1 night I probably would’ve skipped the hair washing anyway (unless the kids had been swimming in mud).
If it was that important surely they could have popped up to the petrol station to grab some shampoo.
I do have basic supplies on hand, but that’s because we use them.
I tend to confirm with who we are staying with in regards to bringing stuff.
I always take my own toiletries when staying overnight anywhere. It doesn’t worry me if people use my toiletries, but most bring their own. You can buy travel size products fairly cheaply, or you can get travel size bottles at cheapie shops for a few dollars that you can then fill with your preferred products. So I really don’t think it should be a big issue for people to bring their own. If the stay was organised in advance, then they should have asked if you had toiletries they would be able to use. If it was a last minute decision, then she should have been happy with what you offered.
Did you invite them or did they invite themselves?? I would have had spares , you know , those $2 shampoos and conditioners and soaps from the reject shop. It’s not a big deal if you go cheap. Any baby stuff or special supplies , she should bring herself
They rang on Friday morning saying they were hoping to stay that night
I dont supply toiletries unless someone is having an unexpected shower at our place eg. Kids got dirty playing or friend drank too much to drive home so they're staying the night. If I know I'm staying the night somewhere I always bring my own. In saying that our the kids/main bathroom has shower gel, shampoo and conditioner in it all the time so guest may use it without asking 🤷♀️
We only have hand soap in our main bathroom as it’s just us who live there
We literally moved in a month ago and we don’t have kids
If you dont have kids then you definitely shouldn't be expected to provide kids products - that's on them!!
If it was for one night only I would probably be like yeah I will just use yours. But if we are going somewhere for a little while I will always go down to the shops upon arrival and buy some super cheap soap and shampoo!
She should of asked you what she needed to bring esp if you don’t have kids & last minute decision to stay! Kinda rude on her behalf. If you want to be nice an there is a next time just get a kids all in one shampoo soap no tears. Etc but it’s was really up to her to bring toiletries. Did they bring a toothbrush? If they did why not the rest?! 😅
No they didn’t bring a toothbrush or toothpaste or anything
Not even nappies
There is something wrong with people who show up to stay without toothbrushes and nappies!
OP, there is way more going on here. That’s very strange they didn’t even bring nappies and toothbrushes. Are they homeless?
Who expects other people to provide nappies and toothbrushes??!! She’s either a nutcase or an entitled freeloader 🙁
It’s customary to bring ones own toiletries when staying with others.
I’d supply towels, wash clothes and a bar of soap.
I would consider it very rude manners of me if I went to someone’s house and use their shampoo and other toiletries, so I would expect others to bring their own.
It was rude of the gf to berate you for not having “child friendly” things.
Ok fair enough if they forgot their stuff but to expect it? Mmm nope! How rude of them.
I have always been taught to take my own toiletries when visiting other people.
I guess having people in my family who have different skin conditions helps me to understand that certain products cost a fortune so I would never want to use up their personal soaps etc.
My mum has everything for my kids at her place including toothbrushes. But they stay there regularly so we found it easier to do it that way.
As for nappies, that boggles my mind. I would never expect anyone to buy nappies to just have on hand. I always supply everything for a baby/toddler no matter what.
Tell them next time to bring their own stuff because you don't have anything on hand. If they get offended, that is on them and not you. They could always stay on a motel 🤷
I would have expected to provide everything except the nappies and tooth brushes.
I have never known the rules. I send my children to sleep overs with their own gear BUT ensure I have stuff to provide when we have sleep overs. We do the same with family visits. I feel you shoulf supply your own when visiting people.
We use pump wash(mine has almonds and goat milk) children use mens wash and hubby medicated soap. When we had family I bought baby wash and they didnt pack anything expecting us to have(or that I would due to me being me) I don't feel they have a right to get upset at all, why would you have stuff to suit their children?
I guess everyone is raised differently and have seen things done differently when they were growing up.
Personally a toothbrush, sanitary pads etc are personal items and I never expect them to be provided (even most hotels don't provide toothbrushes unless it's a more expensive place). I usually don't mind guests borrowing my body wash or shampoo (I just hide my special or expensive stuff and let them use the other stuff from the kids). If its one night i figure they dont necessarily need to wash their hair anyway and if I've only got the expensive stuff or my special stuff I tell them to make sure they bring their own. When i used to have guests regularly i had the guest body wash and shampoos lol.
I don't care if they use my toothpaste either.
But nappies??? No they come with the baby, esp when you are staying with someone without kids.
I like to pack my body wash and my shampoo whenever I go anywhere but sometimes if a nice one is provided by the hotel or by my friends I'm staying with il use theirs but I have mine in case I don't like what's provided but I never expect anything to be provided.
If a friend is flying from interstate I'll ask if they need me to get anything so they don't have to bring it. Or I know there's a supermarket if they need anything when they get here so I always ask if we need to get anything when they arrive.
Seriously..if you dont have kids then why would you have kids stuff lol...I would provide soap and maybe shampoo but I would also pack my own stuff if i was taking my whole family to someones house!
She sounds a bit rude! 🤷♀️
I’m not sure how someone can expect this from another family. She knows you don’t have kids and shame on her for trying to make you feel guilty.
She wanted nappies and toothbrushes? She should know to bring that. If you don’t have anything I wouldn’t be going out and buying it for her because she’s too lazy to pack it.
I have collected hotel stuff I’m happy to share but is no way I’d share my expensive shampoo. They can use my soap and my hubby’s or kids basic shampoo but if this was demanded of my family I’d certainly have a rethink of them staying over again. I’m also shocked at how divided this is.