Married with 4 kids mid 30’s youngest is nearly 2. Our family was complete. Wasn’t on any contraception, f*cking stupid i know. Now that SINGLE ONE time during ovulation has resulted in 5th pregnancy. I’m so angry at myself how could I be so stupid. I always wanted a big family but we were certain 4 was big enough for us & no more after 4. I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t think mentally I could cope with 5. I got rid of all baby stuff that’s how much I really didn’t want any more. Husband is ok with whatever decision. I guess I just needed to get it this off my chest here as I have no one I could possibly tell. So embarrassed. Is there any ladies out there that were in the same boat, swore they were done at 4 and felt the same way I do, please share your stories/advice.
I know how babies are made, I know I was irresponsible I had a stupid “she’ll be right’ attitude so don’t need anyone to tell me what I already know and make me feel worse than I already do.
Unplanned 5th pregnancy
Unplanned 5th pregnancy
Posted in:
Pregnancy
11 Replies
I'm in a new relationship with someone I've known 20 years. I have a 14 year old and my partner wants kids. I would go INSANE with a new baby at this point. My teenager is in 9th grade. If we did over and got preggers immediately, I'd have a newborn with an almost 16 year old in the house. Can you imagine? Getting one off to university with another potty training, maybe!
It's a no. He's still completely keen. I've put my foot down. I have an IUD which will be replaced ON TIME.
I totally empathize with you, even though I don't have 4 kiddos.
Do what is right for you and your body. If you feel you wont cope with a 5th, then you owe it to yourself and your family to look after yourself. If that means terminating your pregnancy, that's totally okay!
If you need to discuss things and get unbiased answers or support, speak to your GP and request a referral.
Thinking of you,
Honestly if I was pregnant now I'd abort. But that's just me. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Don freak out it’s not so bad ‘z and Don’t abort. A lot of people will say that but don’t do it.
Time goes so quickly as you know. I’m sure it feels like yesterday your 2 old was born. You CAN do this.
Everything will be ok ☺️
Thank you for your kind words x
I was in this exact position no long ago. 4 kids and done but had a moment thinking she'll be right and ended up pregnant. Although wasnt planned, husband and I knew that I would not cope mentally with aborting and chose to keep. Honestly apart from getting used to sleepless nights again, having 5 hasnt been too much of an adjustment and we could not imagine life without our 5th. However, you need to do what YOU feel is right for yourself whatever decision that may be. X
This is me right now also, 34yo with a 12, 10, 7 & almost 3 yo in 4 days! Currently 3/4 months pregnant with #5. Was scared to tell partner too (knows know) and haven’t even told family yet as I’m scared to because I don’t want to hear the negative I just want them to be happy for me . Moved a hour away from family in December so I don’t have help. Scared but also excited . I also got rid of all my baby stuff only have the cot left and will have to start over again. But After this pregnancy I’m going to ask doc about getting my tubes tied.
Hon there’s no need to feel irresponsible or embarrassed. You can do this. You are strong & capable. This baby is a blessing, you are so lucky & I hope you can take the time to really enjoy it.
For what is worth ... I've been where you are. I even went so far as to make an appointment for a termination. Arranged a baby sitter for the 4 young ones (all under 5) & off I went. Arrived at the surgery & couldn't get out of the car. Just couldn't, so I drove back home.
Explained what happen to hubby. He was 100% behind whatever decision I made, so no issue there.
I was soooo sick with that pregnancy. More so than any of the others. Actually ended up in hospital due to "morning" sickness. (Felt so sorry for Duchess of Cambridge).
After that baby was born, life went on, although I realised that I hadn't bonded with the baby. Not through PND, partially because I was so damn busy but partly because I'd kind of divorced myself from the situation.
I made a concerted effort to spend time just enjoying my baby & whilst it wasn't quite as simple as that, it worked.
Financially, things were OK. Not great, just OK.
That baby will have his 23rd birthday in September.
My advice - do some soul searching within yourself, because only you can live with whatever decision YOU make. Only YOU know your limits. If suggest though, your stronger than you realise. I'm thinking of you. 💜💜💜
Thank you so much for your kind words. I decided to have the baby but I had a miscarriage on the weekend x
I was in the same boat but pregnant with number 4. I was only wanting 3 children, got rid of all my baby stuff youngest was almost five. So when I fell pregnant with baby number 4. I felt embarrassed too as I’ve always said no more. To the point I really didn’t tell anyone until I was 15-16 weeks along. I was happy but was worried what everyone else was going to say and i couldn’t really enjoy the pregnancy. But do you know what. Number four is the best thing that could ever happen to us. Just another one to love.
I was in the same position. Infact I think I wrote a very similar post. I was also very embarassed and ashamed. I was done at 4. So, SO done at 4. My 4th was a struggle physically and mentally. I always wanted a big family too.
When my 4th was 18 months old I accidentally got pregnant. I had a termination and I do not regret it at all. I had always said and fully believed I'd never be able to have a termination but it was 100% the right thing for me. Only my husband and one close friend know (she drove me to hospital!)
Go easy on yourself.