My child’s father moved away earlier this year. Since he’s moved they’ve spoken once a month (always initiated by me) father rarely makes any contact. When they last spoke father was saying how at the end of the month he was going to come pick up child and take them to the coast for a few days. It would be a 10 hour drive all up for the father.
First off I want them to have a relationship, but how do I get the father to understand that this isn’t the time with restrictions on essential travel and holidays etc and my reluctance to this is due to covid and recommendations and restrictions, and not me being a bitch?
I spoke with my child’s grandparents this morning and they had no idea of these plans their son was making.
One of my colleagues suggested of it does happen then I should report him to the police for unnecessary travel once he leaves my house and I have his rego, I think this is extreme.
Covid and separated parents
Covid and separated parents
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
3 Replies
I would tell him he doesn’t get to decide when he is taking his child on a holiday and he does need to communicate with you first about any plans he might like to make.
Make it clear you want your child to have a relationship but that relationship needs to discussed and organised not just when he feels like it. Because he also had to work his plans in with school, sporting commitments, Covid-19 and plans that you have too.
So for me it would be an outright no, but make it clear a trip could be planned for when travel restrictions are lifted.
It sounds like it’s a great time to initiate mediation, so you can get some rules in place so he isn’t making promises to his child without communicating with you first about what plans mighty already be in place and when is a good time. He decided to move away he doesn’t get to swoop back in and disrupt what is going on without some notice and checking in that it’s a convenient time etc.
Was the last discussion before all these changes occurred? You say they only speak once a month and all if these changes came in quite rapidly. If he was planning on camping etc he probably can't now anyway. Just talk to him because it might all be a moot point.
Honestly now is not the time to travel to the coast maybe suggest something else instead encourage the time together definitely maybe suggest just a couple of days at his place instead but ask if later in the year would be better for a trip to the coast