Has anyone been with a guy that emotionally checks out?
When there's something we need to talk about, wether it be about us, or something to do with me, I get the cold shoulder.
I get told I'm in a bad mood, he rolls over and sleeps, or leaves.
I could be in a flood of tears, hurting etc and he will just do that.
Doesn't matter how I how I approach it, or when, it's always the same. Then when I bring it up again, I get told I'm dragging the past up.
I'm at the point where I can't tell him anything, and not wanting to (good or bad) and I'm finding it really hard. Im not wanting to talk to him about things, things between us don't get resolved.
The good, fun times and chats etc he's fine.
We've been together a few years and he has always been like this. It's starting to wear me down. I'm starting to not want to be with him physically, even finding it hard to be close for hugs etc.
Emotionally draining
Emotionally draining
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour
9 Replies
I’ve dated a few of them and I moved on. You can’t resolve anything with someone who won’t discuss things and they don’t do therapy.
Yup, for 5 years. It ended recently every time I tried to discuss an issue he would always just say “I don’t know what you want me to say” and would then just go on his phone. Because of this problems never got resolved and I felt unappreciated and unsupported.
In the exact same position and without really saying we are over, we are over. Things got tough for him. He thinks he has a mental health issue. He left (at my request for a few days break), calls me tells me all the things he has to do to get his ‘mental health in check’, says my (adult) son is helping me, said He can stay as long as he likes and has been given some house keys to sons house ...... won’t talk to me, won’t tell me what’s going on and I’m just expected to wait while he’s sorts himself out....7 days later he’s still working his mental health out. Still not home here with me and still no answers.
He left behind a 9mths old baby. 🤷🏻♀️
So I move on. Alone and close the door. You should think about doing the same. You reach a point and then boom. You’re done.
How long is a few years. Like really. Was he always lik this in the beginning, if you really look back o it?
Wow does his name start with D sounds like
Someone I know..! I have only ever known one guy like that. RUN..!!!
Move on now, it’s not worth it. I was seeing a guy like that. Got rid of him. He was almost void of any expressions or emotions. Turns out he was a complete narcissist .! Get out while you have no kids.
He is probably a Narcissist, detached from emotions and feelings. I have known a Narcisssist like this and he was awful when it come to feelings and emotions. Made me doubt myself and everything going on in my life. Turns out it was him and he wasn’t capable of loving or showing any feelings or emotions. The good parts were fake. He has another girl now and he is the same but unfortunately she isn’t at that stage yet where she has her eyes opened to it, she is in the stage of getting to known him and it’s the fun side. Very hard to take being with someone like that. I walked away. It was depressing and toxic. You need to be supported and loved.
Me me me. I could have written this myself. I believe my partner is undiagnosed autistic/Aspergers. Very high functioning but when it comes to emotions completely vacant.
His dad, sister, brother and nephew have all been diagnosed with it, but as he’s quite smart he was never tested.
The biggest arguments we’ve ever had were after 2 of our babies were born. He just couldn’t deal with my ‘bad mood’ when I was sleep deprived, hormonal and recovering from c-sections.
It’s taken years, but I’ve just had our third and I’ve learnt how to communicate with him without adding the emotion I normally would. And so far so good, if anything it’s been my best recovery yet.
I’ve done a lot of reading on autism and how to approach a situation and as much as it sucks that I’ve had to make changes to myself when he hasn’t it’s worth it for a happy relationship
Not saying that this is the reason for you, but maybe taking a different approach is all you need
(And I will always agree that you should never change yourself for anyone BUT there are times when it’s okay to do so, and for me this was one. I will never give up coffee no matter how much he hates it)
Time to move on! If he can't give you the emotional support you need the physical connection will fade.