I have 2 severely non verbal autistic children. The last 6 months every part of me aches for another baby.
I know if we had another it would also have autism. That plus finances, partners age, everything that comes with another child is the reason we won’t. My partner won’t have another and that’s ok, I understand why.
Our children rely completely on me with all daily tasks.
I just still can’t stop feeling like this.
Does it eventually go away?
2 Replies
I don't know, but does it have to be your own baby and does it have to be final? Are you at an age/fitness/craziness that you would do it once the others are older. Could you foster later on? Or adopt? For me I could see adding a child to our family as being mine and bringing me all the same joy. I definitely can't handle anymore right now, but may be in 8 years, things change with kids as they grow up.
Or are you yearning for a pregnancy/baby? Which is different in my eyes. To me that want can be changed with logical family planning, finances, time, housing, transport, lifestyle wants etc. Unless it just comes down to purely your husbands wishes vs your own.
Do you think you could handle the 2 you have and a pregnancy? And a newborn? Possibly 3 with special needs? If you think you can then I think you need to speak to him and actually talk it through, deeper than just him saying no, he needs to hear you as well.
Get to the root of your problem and I think you'll find a way to move through it.
I had a boy and girl and felt very blessed but goodness me my heart ached for another baby . Even my breasts would ache to feed again ( sorry if that sounds weird ). I loved my babies but wanted more but realistically was too hard financially and on my body etc so I didn’t. Husband didn’t want any more, and for a short time I was cross with him. I grieved , I cried at times but then I accepted it and I cherished every minute of my kids growing up . Yes that ‘ wanting ‘ will go away but it’s ok to feel sad. As my kids are in their teens now I’m so pleased I didn’t have a third, and I’m now through menopause, so that time is over. You sound v busy and weigh up the pros and cons. You may decide like I did, that 2 is enough ( I used to say I had an arm to hug for each of them).