I have been separated from my husband for just over a year. We had been together for 10 years and married for 6. In that time I had formed a close relationship with his family, predominantly his mum. I have an estranged relationship with my family, no siblings, and aunties, uncles, grandparents and cousins all live overseas so I have not had an opportunity to be a part of their lives.
Since the separation, I have felt lonely, and I’m finding myself missing the tight nit family unit I once had. I miss the weekend family outings, the casual catch ups and basically knowing I always had someone around to talk to if I needed. I especially miss my Ex husbands mother, I miss her caring words and nurturing nature. My mother was never maternal, so I found what I needed in a mum from my ex mother in law.
I moved 5 hours away after my separation, and even though I have tried to keep the lines of communication open, I feel like with the end of my marriage not only did I lose my husband, I lost his family too.
My daughter is spending the school holidays with her dad, and as I sit alone every night after work I realise that I am very lonely. I have no family to visit, no spontaneous texts or phone calls like before, no dinner dates. Nothing. I have a couple of friends, but they have families, husbands and children of their own and usually life gets in the way and we can never make time to see each other.
I miss my daughter so much, and a part of me just wants to drive the 5 hours to see her, even if it’s just for an hour, but I know it’s important for her to spend time with her dad also, so I settle for a video chat every couple of days.
I am in no hurry to be in another relationship, I just miss all the family stuff and it’s bumming me out quite a lot.
3 Replies
Let me just start by saying I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been in this position recently and it really does suck. Sending you lots of hugs!
I’m not sure how your relationship is with your ex now but maybe if it’s possible explain to him that you miss his family and ask him if he would mind if you caught up with them but explain that if he’s not ok with it then that’s ok, if that’s not possible maybe try and make some new friends (not in disrespect to the ones you have but for yourself if that makes sense). Take care and be kind to yourself, you’ve been through a lot and just remember it’s ok not to be ok but just remember to pick yourself up and keep going because it will all be ok xxx
Time to rebuild. Join social clubs, put yourself out there. Its hard but it only takes a few connections for all these feelings to change.
Reach out to them. It's been over a year now so surely everyone's past the awkward loyal stage. Just say hi, how are you? Be great to catch up next time we are near each other. Also try and build your own support network up in your area. Try and build on the friendships you have and make new ones. Single parenting can be lonely but it can also open up more doors to friendships you may not have found if still married. Be the person that makes the random texts and dinner invites and you will find your own tribe soon enough.