I have two beautiful boys 4 and 2 whom I love more than life itself but my heart also yearns for a daughter.
Before I had children I wanted two or three and no more but now that I have two boys I'm so afraid that if I have a third it will be a boy (which is fine and obviously he will be cherished as are my existing boys) but it will mean I will not ever have a daughter.
Hubby is happy to stop at two but is drawing the line at three. I'm getting older also so time is ticking.
Older Mother's of just all boys who also wanted a girl:
Will I forever be day dreaming about the daughter I never had? Will the yearning ever go away?
I hear the saying "you only regret the children you didn't have" and I don't want to spend my life wondering what if?
I'm not really asking for an action plan, just wanted to know if you wish you had of tried once more for a daughter after having all boys. Do you think about it often?
Dreaming of a daughter
Dreaming of a daughter
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Pregnancy, Kids
9 Replies
Firstly scrub that saying from your mind. Plenty of people regret the children they do have. It’s a ridiculous saying.
I wanted a girl. You get over it, if you choose to. People yearn and want lots of things and we don’t all get those things and we go on to live healthy, happy, life.
Thank you for saying this! People can and absolutely do regret having children.
Mum of all boys here and part of me yearned for a girl but honestly, I'm not a girly girl. I'd be shit at doing hair and make up. And fashionable clothes. Not my thing. I just basically think that may be my boys will have little girls and I will be their Nana and get to do awesome stuff with them, minus the teenage girl dramas 😂
You make it sound like you've had 6 boys the way you write this. You've had two!
I had five boys . I also had girls. I had two boys before i even had a girl but i didn't think i would never have a girl after 'just two boys' .
If it was after 4 or 5 boys or more, then yeah maybe.
No you wont regret not having a girl (if you didn't). The yearning 'will' go away.
My best friend had three boys and never regretted not having a girl . She sure got her fair share of granddaughters from them though. Lol.
If ypu are basing a third pregnancy on it being a girl, please don't get pregnant again unless you truly will accept another boy as willingly as if he were a girl.
Its OK to want preferences, but dont allow disapointment to seep in if you don't get what you want.
You'll definitely move on. Lots of people don't have daughters. I actually know someone who really wanted a daughter so she kept having kids until she got one (number 6)...and she was born deformed and died a short while after. Some bodies aren't meant to carry certain sexes and now she has 5 kids which is more than she wanted plus the painful memory of her daughter.
So I yearned for a girl, majorly. I don’t know how I would have loved another boy honestly. I’m the world’s worst person I know.
I got my girl. And now she’s a little older, I’m wanting another baby. Any baby. It didn’t complete me at all!
You can choose to focus on what you do have or focus on what you don’t have.
I have one child, would have loved more but that wasn’t on the cards for me.
I choose to focus on the amazing one I do have and be grateful.
Just from a different perspective, I am the daughter my mum desperately wanted (although I am her first child and I have younger brother).
I came into this world loving trucks, swimming, ninja turtles and football. As a teenager I was into art, reading, grungey music and wore Metallica t-shirts.
Me just being who I was caused so much tension and frankly caused permanent damage to our relationship because I didn't fit into my mum's idealised version of what a daughter is supposed to be - she wanted me to be a little pink ballerina princess who loved sparkly dresses, tea parties and Barbies, she wanted me to be the teenaged daughter she could take clothes shopping, gossip to and watch mind numbing reality tv with.
It disappointed her to her core that I didn't turn out to be what she envisioned. A fact she never failed to point out either...
I truly believe that often when people yearn for a child of a particular gender, they're yearning for that superficial idea of a son or a daughter. So maybe that's something to think about.
Do you want a daughter to love and nurture for exactly the person she turns out to be or is it that stereotypical "girl experience you are really yearning for?
I had three boys and still yearned for a little girl. My lucky 4th baby was a girl. I think if I never had her I would have been wanting her forever. I did settle for three boys but then she came along by accident. I do believe although I love my boys more than life itself, I would have always always wished for a girl. It would have just changed from a daughter to granddaughter. Haha. Now, I have 5 and guess what, my last was a boy too but he fits into our family so perfectly. 4 boys, 1 girl. I'm completely done now, thanks to my girl ❤