This will no doubt be a controversial subject so I will remain anonymous to spare my feelings...
I have 6 beautiful boys but would like a daughter to complete our family. We are lucky to be able to provide all of our children with a financially stable, loving home. Life is great and it would be an option financially for us to keep having boys until we have a girl (and keep going after that!) however I am getting older and so is my body so we have been considering gender selection. I have done a small amount of research but would like some feedback from PARENTS WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH the process. I am not after judgement.
I'd like information on cost, experience, location (Thailand or USA or Greece?), emotional impact, process etc.
Thanks!
Gender selection
Gender selection
Posted in:
Health & Wellbeing, Pregnancy, Kids
23 Replies
Will you be prepared to if the child you birth has female genitalia, but was actually meant to be a male? Would you be ok with a transgender child? Are you after another child or the imagined mother/daughter experience?
Good point. Slightly less than 1 in 50 babies of sex selection are intersex and born with male and female organs. Psychiatric stability in this population as they grow is frequently low as they are raised as 1 sex yet identify as another, may have been operated on as a child, may have fertility issues etc etc.
You've missed the point, they're not talking about intersex.
I don't have any advice or really even an opinion one way or another about gender selection.
I feel like I just need to point out that you may need to take into consideration that countries that offer gender selection procedures may be inaccessible for years to come yet due to covid. If age and time are already against you, it's something to think about.
Do you know what’s happening in the world at the moment?
Now is not the time to be leaving 6 children at home to travel over seas! Even if you could travel in the next year or two, that doesn’t mean you will be able to come home. Not to mention medical resources in most countries are stretched thin.
Then of course the amount of pressure on this potential child to fit some stereotypical ideal of a girl you have in your mind.
The amount of resources you have, has zero to do with it.
As the only girl with lots of brothers and no sisters I'm begging you to reconsider this.
You cannot gender select in Australia
It is illegal here
You will have to travel over seas and in this current climate it’s not going to happen.
I should add, I’ve been through iVf it isn’t pleasant. It’s a procedure and totally worth it if you get a positive outcome. It cost us in Australia with medicare rebate over 10k in America it is much more. I didn’t research any other countries. It’s a lot to go through when naturally you’ve got no issues except your partner not being able to spit out girl seeds.
Have you considered adopting a little girl?
I'm not sure you'd have this option given the pandemic.
You say you have enough money to keep popping out kids, do you ever consider the time each child needs? It’s not just about money.
With the way things r going, u won't get out of Australia any time soon
Foster? Im not sure theyd let a little girl go to a house of boys?
I would say to consider what exactly is it about a girl you want? And is that really guaranteed Ie) wedding day, doing nails, being closer, styling long hair, dressing in pink sparkles, are all just your hopes, not promised at all.
You will be hard pressed finding people who have done it given it's illegal in Australia unless there is a high risk of a gender specific severe disability. And with covid 19 you would be risking your own life and the lives of those around you if you could travel or be older again if you wait and, depending on age, be higher risk of having a child with a disability or miscarriage due to your age. The other questions raised are also really valid. Maybe talk to your GP or ask for a referral to a fertility specialist. They won't be able to to it for you but they can at least talk over the risks with you.
Your boys may have kids of their own someday. Imagine how many little girls you will get to enjoy then.
Be patient.
So true. With 2 kids, I can't be sure I'll get grandkids.... but with that many kids, odds are certainly in the OPs favour
Save your money and use it to go on an awesome holiday with your kids instead...then enjoy your future granddaughters.
You won't be able to go overseas to do this anytime soon anyway...and trust me, being a sister in a house full of brothers is not fun. Or it wasn't for me at least. So the thought of someone doing this makes me cringe.
A child should never be born to play a role in your life.
For example, people have them to fix a marriage, to replace a child that died who they still grieve (very sad), or to have a certain experience I.e. the mother daughter dream in their head.
A child born should be seen as a blessing, accepted and cherished for who they are, with no expectation or role to fill.
And what if you end up with a trans son?? Then what?? Can only imagine the pressure on a child if they knew you went down this route but they believed they weren't a girl
I have a friend who did it to have a girl. She was not successful. She had a clinic is Sydney arrange everything and travelled to Thailand for egg retrieval. All of the eggs were boys. Unsure of cost but she said it was expensive. Good luck if you can afford it and willing to wait til travel restarts then good luck to you.
I did it in the US my daughter is now 7. I was considered young for ivf being only 32 at the time which is probably what led to my success. I got pregnant first try. I had to work wth a fertility clinic here in Australia which was coordinated with the US doctors. For me it was a very straight forward easy process. I was quite stressed at the time but it worked out well. It cost me 12000 total and we combined it with a US holiday. There was a website at the time Called Gender Dreaming with message boards from people currently going through the process. Hope this helps good luck.
Dont be put off by comments. I knew a family that never had a girl, ended up with 7 boys. I find some of the comments OTT and off topic.