I have a 9yr old son undergoing counselling and mental health help. His just been medicated because his physical with me and his brothers and puts holes in my walls and doors. I’m beyond exhausted and mentally drained. His father was abusive to me physically and mentally and I haven’t been with him for 8 yrs and still manages to mentally abuse me. But instead his using our son. I’m at breaking point I’ve tried all avenues of mental help for him but it’s a continuous loosing battle I dread waking up because I’m scared of what mood his going to be in. My other two children are scared of him as well I dunno what else To do you show him love and affection and it’s still not enough when it comes to showing the other two it. I’m at my lowest of lows. I dunno what I’m looking for here but some advise would be awesome
8 Replies
He needs a psychologist, and frequent visits. He can do the counselling as well. They will work with him but they will also work with you on strategies and how to see this, and what to do, a plan.
It goes without saying that being physical with you, siblings, or the house is zero tolerance, not ok. But you cant show zero tolerance if you have no plans for recourse. I would suggest you need to take back your mental power over him while hes still only 9.
You can also get yourself into a psych. Im not sure they'll be trained to help you with him and the right strategies for him but they will definitely be able to help you as a woman, a parent, and how to deal with your ex. So thats at least some more parts to the puzzle.
I should of put in there that his seeing a phsyc too.. along with medication but it’s become so much to deal with I’m emotionally drained and so embarrassed on how I lost control of being in charge
I should of put in there that his seeing a phsyc too.. along with medication but it’s become so much to deal with I’m emotionally drained and so embarrassed on how I lost control of being in charge
You can speak to the school, the counsellor, the chappy, the special ed dept, and his psych. You dont need to be listened to, you need practical advice. Also facs. They will help you decide what you can, and need to do.
Does he still visit the abusive father?
If he’s still exposed to a toxic father (even if he isn’t physically abusive to child), all the help in the world will do nothing.
Like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound.
Monkey see, monkey do.
He was recently involved if fathers life until 4 weeks ago when I found out he had choked my son. So I’ve ceased all contact
So along with that incident recently the change of having no contact now, and the ongoing exposure all the time this little boy needs to be given some time. No, bashing things cant be accepted, but this is an especially hard time, give yourselves all time to work through it.
So while you may have got out eight years ago, your little boy is just getting out now.
Remember how you were getting out, imagine a little boy with a developing brain being exposed to a toxic individual all those years and now getting out.
He needs intense therapy, he’s needs protection and hopefully without that toxic influence, he comes out the other side.
Remember, kids are a product of their environment.
Sending love and light to your little boy.