Does anyone else argue with their partner about the same thing over and over constantly? We have been for years now and it’s never going to end. We couldn’t be more opposite with parenting! He is a don’t take no shit, my way or the highway, capital punishment kind of person and I’m not. Even with small things. And he just keeps it going, like he stews on things all the time! And if I say anything it’s “you baby them” and “don’t tell me how to parent”, even though he tells me how to on a daily basis. We’ve just had a huge fight about it and it’s at the point where it seems like he just hates coming home every day and it’s looking like our relationship is hanging by a thread. I don’t know what to do anymore. I could fill an ocean with all the tears I’ve cried.
3 Replies
You can argue until you separate, and the kids will learn how each of you roll. You can let him dictate and suppress your own true self and parenting style, which would be really sad, or you can compromise. Maybe alternate decisions, agree to back up whoever was there and parented the issue at hand. Agree on set rules which are some dads way and some mum says. Or agree on boundaries. Or just take turns to make the call. Or maybe take him to a parenting course, attend together and learn the same skills and the reasoning behind the philosophy. If he wont, then you cant let a stubborn, overbearing man dictate your household.
This is me and my husband to a tee. He’s an enforcer and I’m a sympathetic comforter.
We clash so much and disagree with each other. For us it’s about compromise and we find a happy medium. He can enforce and whatever but I can pick up the pieces and cuddle afterwards and say it’s okay, mediate the situation.
I always knew this would be the case with my hubby, when I was pregnant I sent him to see this guy who is an expert on child brain development, this guy (kiwi guy called Nathan Wallace) is a great communicator very funny but also talks about facts only and backs it up with evidence based research. Best thing I ever did, knowledge is power! My husband now knows how a childs brain works, how to handle big emotions, and how we have a connect first, talk second approach to disciplining our children and why we do that. I would totally recommend doing something similar, but dont tell him hes doing it all wrong ect ect, I would just suggest telling him you guys need to find an evidence based approach where you are both on the same page parenting wise.