I'm drowning. My family is drowning. I don't know what to do. The rental we are in has been sold, I have been looking and applying for house for weeks and weeks. I've lost count of the amount of houses we have applied for. I'm not just looking in our suburb but as far away as possible too but we have to stay semi close by as we are both employed in this suburb.We are a large family with 5 kids, hubby works full time, I'm casual while looking after the kids and also homeschooling one of our kids. We have less than 2 weeks and we are going to be homeless. Like on the street homeless. We don't even have a car we can sleep in. If I book a holiday rental/house I'm going to have to use the bond/moving money we have saved and then in a month we'll be in am even worse position. Housing department has a 2-5yr wait and even emergency accommodation has a long wait. We can't stay with family, no one has room. Half the caravan/holiday parks are full and most don't take familys our size anyway. I'm trying to hold things together for everyone, but every night I cry in the shower when no one can hear me. My husband is doing everything he can too but he's pretty much in the same headspace. I just feel like I have failed my kids. We are going to end up on the street. I don't even know where to go when our time is up? We have been in this same house for 5yrs, never failed an inspection, paid rent on time.
Only time we have struggled was when hubby had to stop working (FIFO) and got let go because of COVID. So we got a week behind about 3 times over 4 mths but kept in contact with the real estate and made it up asap. And now he's working full-time again so we are up to date and in front. I'm exhausted. I spend each day working then fixing the kids packing going to and from open houses, filling applications out, looking for new houses and cleaning. Trying to keep the mask up to the kids that everything is ok.
But I hardly sleep. I'm up all night worrying. Checking if there's new houses to look at( yeah because REs load them at 2am in the morning...) But most often I lay there and cry. Or stress about our family being homeless. I'm now considering giving my kids up to DOCS so they will have somewhere safe to be. I dont even know if thats a thing? I just don't understand what we have done wrong?? We are not bad people. We keep our house clean. We are good tenants( I mean you wouldn't keep bad tenants for 5yrs would you???) We have been through alot over the last few years but stuck together as a family. We have been through my mum having a brain haemorrhage and recovering, my dad having 2 cancer diagnoses and ttreatment/recovery. Been through nearly losing our 10mth old to heart disease and being seperated for months while she was in hospital. My eldest has had severe mental health issues from a sexual assault then losing her best friend in a car accident. And another heart condition diagnosis for my eldest son. And we have got through it together. But this I just don't know what to do. I don't even know if Im asking a question. I know this is the only place I can say this because I don't want anyone to know just how much I feel like I'm failing. I just don't know what to do.
About to be homeless.
About to be homeless.
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt
13 Replies
I’m so so so sorry. What area are you in so maybe someone might know of somewhere?
what size houses have you been looking at and applying for?
Are you disclosing upon application how many kids you have? Honestly, that might be the reason you’re getting knocked back. Can you say you’re parents to respectful children who are clean and behaved. But don’t mention the number. That would be really off putting if there was a family of 7 applying for say a 3 bedroom house as a landlord, I would place preference on a smaller family (I know that’s horrible of me to say, I’m sorry).
Most, if not all agents ask that you list number of children and ages on applications.
Would it be somewhat legal to only apply under her name and say, two kids? And then they move in afterwards?
It’s a bit hard to hide 5 kids at inspections and you can be evicted if you provide false information
Her income statement from Centrelink would say she has 5 children. If an application came through with 2 kids listed on rental application and 5 kids on the income statement I would be asking questions.
If worst comes to worst u could always buy a cheap tent and stay at a caravan park.
Have you tried writing a cover letter on your applications, and a bit about each of your kids, that way it gives the landlord a more personal view of your family. Also if it’s affordable offer extra rent when applying for places even if it is just 20 or so a week. I would also follow up each application and ask if there is anything that could help you improve your application. Lastly I would ask your current real estate that if anything comes up that they think will suit you guys to let you know or something. I really hope you get some luck your families way soon, as it sounds like you really need it.
Firstly mumma breath.
Now you’ve got a date you’re expected to move by, start by talking to real estate agent about the struggles of finding a new home and see if you can stay a little longer if possible. Most real estates won’t want to see a family homeless. They might have to negotiate with new owners but it’s a start and a possibility.
Are you able to split the kids up with family and friends if needed? People might not be able to take on all the family but might be able to have 1-2 kids. Not ideal but neither is living on the streets and I’d be very surprised if family/friends can’t accommodate 1-2 kids.
Any family with a big back yard? Ask to pitch a tent for a few weeks.
Are you looking in your price range? I’ve found having to settle for smaller and cheaper in the past was the only way to secure something for my family in a hurry. Again not ideal but manageable for the short term.
Look into a storage unit for your stuff if you have to stay at a caravan park for a while.
Keep applying for houses and maybe look up to 30mins away. Again not ideal but it’s better than nothing and again think of it as a short term plan.
I wish you all the best and hope you get something soon x
have you looked in gumtree? Two of the best renting experiences I've had have been private rentals from gumtree.
Have you tried personally emailing the different real estates in your area?? Explain you need a place, ask if they have any coming up you can apply for before they actually advertise them?? I was a young single mum a few years ago and that's how I ended up with my rental. Also it can help to include an about me and my family section in your applications, and it can also help to have some written references, especially from real estate agents. Really feeling for you, hope this helps!
I am sorry you’re going through this, times are tough. Do you have any savings? If you offer to pay a few months rent up front you might have better luck, or offer to pay $10 more than was asked. Housing commission also help out with bonds so if you do need to spend the money you have saved they will cover you. My only other advice is speak to every charity that is available. Salvation Army may be able to help. All the best my dear. I will be praying for a safe space for you and your children.
Speak to your current real estate. If they can't extend your move out date they may be able to help you get into something. They can put in a word with their other landlords. Maybe even consider offering $10 a week above listed price.
You are doing the best you can and the weight of the world is all on your shoulders right now. As hard as it is put out positive vibes and maybe see if there are options you haven't considered like one less bedroom with kids sharing, going slightlyoutside the area you were looking etc.
Hang in there mumma. You cam get through this.
Firstly I just want to say what a horrible situation and my thoughts are with you. Having a deadline to find housing is incredibly stressful and the housing system can be a nightmare.
I’m a Social Worker and while I don’t work in the Housing system I do have a few tips based on my experience with families in the same situation.
In NSW I would suggest you ring Link2Home as they provide temporary accommodation eg motel (you contribute some of the cost), when you become homeless and support you until you find housing. It’s not ideal but they won’t leave you homeless on the street. I’m not familiar with QLD but I notice there is a homeless hotline (1800474753) that would be worth a call and ask what happens when you become homeless. They may provide a similar service and at least it would be peace of mind that you will have somewhere to go.
Another option to provide some extra support is looking for a family support service in your area. In NSW some organizations such as Mission Australia and others provide case management to families facing different challenges. It may be worth googling what services in your area provide that support. They won’t be able to wave a magic wand and find you a house but they may be able to share the burden and know some other ways of helping locally as well as be an advocate for you.
Good luck. I’ll be thinking of you.