I need advice
I am a single mum of 5
3 to my ex husband who I have 50/50 woth and 2 to my ex I have 100% care of.
.
The little ones are 4. Due to DV their dad is exempt from child support .
My ex husband is meant to pay monthly on the 21st of every month.
Around the 15th of every month he calls to budget down child support . I live hand to mouth so he will say.. if I agree to pay today what deal will you do me. Always ends uo with me agreeing to less as money is so tight.
This month I told him could we work it out as chikd support was my Christmas money.
He ignored every request to talk about it. He also refused to give me a time of drop off on Xmas day. Untill today. Xmas day at 3pm he advised he will drop the kids at 6pm, willl not discuss child support i have $2. .. no presents.
Kids called and happily tolf me they got expensive pressies and a $250 voucher for shopping. They then said they had to go as dad needs to pick up a hire car as his girlfriend's mum is here and lunch is at opera house.
I can't afford to feed them . I am living on a care package from a charity.
My ex wrote to me.. dropping kids at 6pm. I said I can't afford to feed the kids
He wrote back .. what kind of mum doesn't wsnt to see her kids at Christmas
I said they can come over but i canr feed them and you can.
He said cool I will tell them uou don't want them .
I am so heartbroken.. But what do i do. I need the food I have to last till Friday for the twins.
I can't stop crying
8 Replies
Stop being private collect. Ring the child support agency and get them to collect your child support payments.
Stop letting him negotiate, that’s not how child support works. Go through the government and at least that way the debt will accumulate if he doesn’t pay.
Get child support to collect for you. This way you don’t have to discuss money with him.
Yep stop the conversation. You're clearly manipulated by him and hes not paying what he should be, so just get what you should be and stop communicating with him. Also stop communicating about things like food etc. Dont give him the ammunition. Stick to the plan on the court orders. He's a dick for telling the children that, you need to stop playing his games the only way with these ones is no contact and ignore their bullshit.
Go through CSA so he can’t negotiate. He has no right to manipulate you like this
If you have this much trouble on a private agreement go to child support collect. Stop with the private collection it is not in yours or your children's best interest.
If you cannot afford to buy presents or food this is not the best way to go about it at all. You need to speak to child support, you need to talk to Centrelink and see if you can access on of the free financial counsellors to see how you can better work with your money. Buy Christmas presents through the year and hide them. Especially when you can afford it. Use your cl bonuses to your advantage. If you can apply for the advance once a year closer to Christmas. Put yourself on a payment plan for electricity and cut back on anything extra. Switch off Netflix/ Stan or anything like that you may have. Make sure your claiming everything you possibly can.
Im sorry you're going through this. You also need to reach out to your support people and talk to them. I would happily buy my nieces and nephews a roast and food to eat so my sister could buy them extras. But i wont give her money as she never buys what i give her the money for.
I was way too nice with my ex too and he took advantage of that and took me for a ride just like yours is. Got to the point where we could no longer do a private agreement and I changed it to CSA collect. He carried on like a 2 year old at first but he brought it upon himself, I wasn't feeling sorry for him the kids come first always.
Let child support take care of the arrangement and let them know what has been happening..
Stop giving in to him. My ex would use it against me so I said I am going through child support from now on. Asked for an assessment and they take it from his pay. Because of this he cancelled swimming lessons he was paying for but I figured its one less thing he has control over.
Go through child support and then you don't have to deal with him