Hey, my 9 year old son with autism doesn't like going to dads. He will be ok for an overnight stay but will be super moody if he has to stay longer for holidays. Now that he has his own room it's abit better but he just hides in there alone all day and won't let his dad in for long. There is alot of people who live there including a baby and I know sometimes he likes alone time because it's quieter but this is all day. I'm worried about their relationship when he's older. That he will completely refuse to go. I have no idea what to say to him when he crys because he doesn't want to go. I suggested they get out of the house for a bit but his dads in alot of pain so it's not easy for him to do so.
Time with dad
Time with dad
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Kids, Aspergers & Autism
3 Replies
It’s lovely that you care, but please don’t let your emotional energy get chewed up by this.
As one ASD mum to another, it doesn’t sound like your ex has taken into account your sons needs when setting up his new life. I personally would suggest that your ex attends an OT appointment with your son so that HE can ask questions about how to improve the situation.
If your ex won’t do that I’d start suggesting shorter visits as the long visits aren’t in your sons best interests at this time. My nephew and my son both ASD had special accomodations in there court orders due to there ASD. It just wasn’t feasible for them to follow traditional custody arrangements.
This! Dad needs to be the one to make the adjustments based on the needs of the child. Shorter visits starting with just dad, then slowly add in another person from the home, building up to when the child is able to cope with the noise and busyness that occurs at dad’s.
I think you should have a open conversation with dad about what son has said don’t jump down his throat but more of a what can I do to help improve father/son relationship encourage your son to speak to his dad about how he is feeling when he is ready don’t push it but let him know dad is a safe person to talk to. Does your son have a Xbox or something in the room? Perhaps suggest that that time is limited so he isant in there all day. Encourage a healthy relationship between them. If your not there how do you really know what’s going on ? Be adults have a adult conversation it may not be anything bad