My 4 year old goes to an early leaning day care 3 or 4 days a week.
Starting kinder there now.
School next year.
They are well behaved, follows instructions, is clever and well liked.
They are an only child.
I thought going to day care 3 or 4 days a week would be allright for them socially.
But I have been told that they are whingey.
Whingey over sharing mostly or taking turns.
They don't cry and have tantrums.
Will my kid be rejected from starting school next year because they are whingy when it comes to sharing?
What should I do?
I'm a bit pissed about this because I was never made aware this was a problem but have now had two educators bring it up with me within two weeks!
5 Replies
Reinforce it at home, even if they are an only child. Get her to share things with you and others. Keep reinforcing it. It's a good thing it was brought to your attention- something that you can reinforce at home. The educators work as a partnership with you and your family.
Adult only children whinge. So do kids with siblings. It won't affect schooling. It might affect making friends in years to come if not addressed though.
My daughter is a middle child and she could out whinge Donald Trump on good day 😂 So don't think it's because your kiddo is an only child.
If schools rejected kids because of whingeing, I'd estimate that 75% of kids would be rejected lol. Honestly, I used to work in early childhood education and 4 year olds just are a bit whingey, some more so than others but all of them are to a degree.
They usually do grow out of it as their social skills develop and as long as the adults in their life don't entertain the whingeing (for example, giving them a lolly after they whinged for one for half an hour or not following through with things due to the child's whingeing etc).
Also, ask the staff if they have any tips on how you can work on this at home. It used to really bug me when I worked in this industry when I'd see my colleagues tell parents about undesirable behavior but would then offer absolutely no insight or anything helpful in terms of combating the issues or the next appropriate steps to take, it usually left parents embarrased, confused and overwhelmed.
Kids whinge! It happens! Perhaps it’s a new occurrence at daycare and that’s why it’s only been mentioned recently. What happens at home when your child wants something? Do they get what they want when they demand it? Or are they made to wait while you finish what you are doing before getting what they want? When my kids were younger they would get what they wanted when they wanted it when they were with their father every second weekend. Daycare could always tell on Mondays, by my youngest son’s behaviour, who he had been with over the weekend. Legally your child has to enrolled in school or for homeschooling by the time they turn 6 (I think). Most daycares and kindys will complete a school readiness report towards the end of the school year that can be shared with the school you enrol your child at. Unless there are multiple issues that show up on the report there shouldn’t be any concerns with your child starting school next year. Also, some kids start school without attending any formal daycare or kindy program, so schools wouldn’t have any info on the child’s socialisation skills other than what they see at the enrolment interview and what the parents tell them.
I would say if the educators are bringing it up then she my be whinging more than the kids her age. I would also talk to the educators and see if they believe she is school ready. She may not be emotionally ready, even if she is old enough. We gave my daughter a second year of 4 year old kinder because she had a speech delay which in turn meant she had trouble making friends. She is a bit older than other kids in her year level but no one knows and it was the best decision ever. She is now confident and well liked.
School won’t reject her, but kids can be pretty mean and if she is always negative and Whingey and never shares she may not make friends easily.
Make her aware of what whinging is and sounds like. Tell her ‘you’re using your whinging voice, how else could you say it so it’s not whinging’
Start playing board games and not letting her win. Start playing with her favourite toy so she has to share. If she has cousins or close people her age then spend more time there so she knows she isn’t the centre of everyone’s universe.