I'm a single Mum. My day started with my 4 year old crying as he had vomited all over himself, the couch and the rug. He was unwell for the first half of the day, but you know kids- miracle beans of energy that despite being ill are little cyclones leaving mess everywhere they go. Mr 6 is getting relatively good at cleaning up after himself.
So my question how do you keep on top of it all? I'm really struggling, I feel like all I do is clean and meet basic needs of my kids. I can't keep my house clean/ organised. The toy chaos throughout the house, the washing/ folding, the general cleaning, the dishes, playing/ quality time with your kids, outings (added washing from said outings), cooking dinner/ cleaning up from dinner, baths amd bedtime routines, bills exercise and self care? Please share your wisdom because by the time the kids go to bed and I get to shower it's 8pm and the last thing I want to be doing is cleaning or exercising. As I look around my house I see toys on my bedroom floor, the loungeroom floor and the kitchen table. Mountains of folding and a cluttered bench top. I constantly feel like I'm failing.
4 Replies
When they're sick everything goes to shit. That's just how it is. Rest up. Take it easy. When the little one gets to about 5 things take a turn and just seem to get better from there. When they're little they make mess, you feel like you cant have nice things, it's hard work.
The one thing that's helped me is to have minimal stuff. Just enough clothes to wear, enough toys to play with, enough cups and plates and cutlery to use and wash. The more you have the more they get out and spread everywhere. Then do a 15 minute tidy up where everyone gets to know the jobs done (floor cleared, toys in a laundry basket, clothes in laundry, table wiped down, school bags on the rack, floor swept etc) when i call time to tidy up we all work and get it done and I can relax better when the lounge room is clean.
I'm not a single mum, but do handle almost all family/finance/house/kid stuff alone, including DS' multiple ASD therapies on my own as DH works ridiculous hours.
I manage by minimising work. Everything I do I look at how to reduce it. For eg:
I've coated my shower screens in a product that stops soap scum sticking, and use a squeegee after every shower. Alternately some I know spray the shower quickly after every wash. It really reduces cleaning.
Washing. I wear items multiple times. Of course, only if they're clean! I change out of good clothes when I get home & wear them a few times before washing. Kids obviously this won't happen but I don't change outfits for outings unless necessary.
I bulk cook meals. It doesn't take much more to triple batch freezable meals. I try to do one a week to create variety & use a frozen meal on the nights we have therapies. Other nights I look for quick meals that use few pans, like omelettes etc.
I minimise stuff & keep surfaces clear. It's much easier to clean a bathroom sink if there's not lots of bottles etc. on it. Less toys, clothes, etc. No display items needing dusting!
Finances. I've automated ours. Bills come via email & are direct debit. Auto transfer to mortgage, savings, bills accounts. It takes a little setting up, but now I only check bills & monitor the account.
Really these are my examples, just look at everything & see how you can reduce the labour/time. Some are shortcuts, but I've lowered the bar a little & my house isn't spotless before I sit down.
I'm a single mum too. I know how it is. I also work full time as I have no second income to rely on. The best thing I did was get rid of a lot of toys! When there's too many toys it's too overwhelming for everyone.
I recommend watching Marie Kondo on Netflix.
Start with getting rid of a heap of stuff. It’s hard with young kids, especially when they are sick.
You’re not failing! We all have washing piles and toys and bench tops that could be better taken care of. ❤️